Sunday, January 23, 2011

The "Crud".

So I begin feeling sick last Monday. Granted, it is now Sunday, and this is the first day that I feel well enough to blog about my illness. So one may say, "Oh, did you have the flu?" or "Strept throat?". Let me assure you, it was quite the opposite. The doctor diagnosed me with..... the "Crud".

We'll start with some definitions. This is quite the medical term, so as you may guess, these will be strictly medical definitions.

As told by urbandictionary.com, the "crud" is:
When you turn into a walking snot ball you have "The Crud" You cough up mucus and your nose runs constantly therefor the use of the word "crud".
 
As much as I would like to agree with their definition, they have it slightly off. And here begins our story.
 
I wake up Monday. Everything is fine, minus it being Monday, a holiday, and me having school. But anyway, birds are chirping outside, life is going on. So I get up, go to school, the whole deal. At some point later on, the headaches begin. I get home from school, and the dreaded cough begins. So I tell my parents that I'm not feeling that great, but its okay. I go to school Tuesday. The body aches begin, then the chills, then the earaches. By Wedsnesday, I have every symptom of the flu, except the fever. Of course, just my luck. I got in bed at like 5:00 that night, and had crazy dreams. The kind of crazy dreams you only have when you are sick. Thursday I wake up, and I think I am dying. You may be thinking yeah right, you just didn't feel that good, but honestly I would have felt better rotting away then I did waking up that morning. It was bad. I go to school for two classes, long enough to take my calculus test early and fail it because my sickness prevailed me and I forgot all I knew. No worries though, it only dropped my average sixteen points, no biggie. I sleep all day, woke up Friday morning trying to put myself in the mindset of 'TGIF' and 'yay weekend', but it wasn't happening, I just wanted to rip my eyes out they hurt so bad. I spent the entire day at school, hoping that I would be fine to enjoy my weekend. But no, of course not. With ONE hour left of school, I called my mom and left to go to the doctor.
 
(side note: I HATE the doctor. I have not been there for an illness since freshman year. I went in with a 103 fever, only to get diagnosed with the "crud" which brings us back to the story)
 
I drive home, and get back in the car like two minutes later to ride back down to the doctors office with my mom. I go back, and tell the lady doctor, "last time I was here, they told me I had the "crud" and that really bothers me, that is not medical terminology and please do not let me have the crud". So she says "okay" and they check me for flu and strept and come back to tell me both tests were... negative. Of course. Just my luck right. So I sit there looking at her waiting to hear what is wrong with me, and these words come out of her mouth like daggers stabbing into my sore and aching body, "You have the 'crud'". I was so angry. I could have spit, if only her stupid swab tests hadn't removed all the body liquids from me leaving me dried out and unhappy. I could see the smirk dancing in the corner of her mouth, mocking me singing "You have the 'crud', you have the 'crud'". I felt defeated. As if it couldn't get any worse, then my mom chimes in "Oh, well if she doesn't have the flu, can she still get a flu shot?" I thought "No mom, No. She can't still get the flu shot, she hurts everywhere, she doesn't need it." But the peppy doctor, opened the door and yelled out to her evil minon nurses, "Can I get a flu shot".
 
Ten minutes later, I walked out the door of the hospital. I walked in just a normal girl going to get checked on to make sure she wasn't deathly ill, and I walked out sore, poked, and prodded. It was a miserable experience. The "crud" is the worst virus one could ever get. There is no medicine that can help you. You have to sit and suffer. I am sitting here typing, almost one whole week after this all began with a simple headache, telling you to save yourself. Run far far away, you don't want the "crud". It is cruel and mean, and it mocks you while you lay in your bed all weekend, unable to move. It laughs in your face while you see all the fun things going on around you on twitter and facebook, but you can't do them because you have the "crud". Save yourself before it is too late.

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