Tuesday, June 7, 2011

Belarussian Men

Tonight, we went to dinner at a restuarant in downtown Mogilev whose name translates to "restuarant" in English. We were sitting there enjoying our time with Olya, our host, Katyas friend, when the waitress walks up with ice cream for us. Two men, a table over, had sent them for us as a gift, because they liked the way I smiled. They proceeded to ask us to go to a movie with them, telling us that we have to because they already bought the tickets. We politely declined, yet they persisted. As if this would win us over, they bought wine for us all. It was a Maldovian wine, and it actually wasn't terrible, but we still did not wish to go to the movies with them. They kept saying "what is your name, my darling".. buddy, I am NOT your darling. They said that they wished only to go to the movies as friends, and nothing more. I don't think I'm buying that one. One of the men came over to our table, and asked us to go to the bana with him. The bana is a sauna of sorts in which you bathe and can be whipped with leaves to beat something out of you, but I can't quite remember what. The man told me that he would beat me with the leaves, if I would beat him. Then he spanked himself a few times, and told us sorry. The only blessing is the two men had just finished off a bottle of vodka, or I would have been concerned for his sanity. He gave us all high fives, winked a few times, and eventually the men left after giving us warm goodbyes. I've got to say, I'm okay with sticking to American men.

Austin, Texas HATES George Bush

I am sitting on a plane to Warsaw, Poland right now and the woman behind me is a freak. May I start by saying that my mom and I are on the right side, squashed in the little two seater, in row thirty-six (aka the seat from hell, second to last row), with two little polish girls in front of us – who lean their seats back entirely too far so I can’t breath, and throw their trash around- behind me is an American woman, aka the freak, and a Russian man (who she just met), next to us is a three seater row with army guys, behind them is a screaming baby, and in front of them is an Orthodox Jew with the long beard and twirled side burns… COOL. All was good and well, we walked around New York city during our seven hour layover and got to enjoy the Israel Festival and Parade on Fifth Avenue (pictures to follow), had some amazing pizza from a cute little place on 6th avenue and 57th street, and hung out in the airport for a good long time. We finally decided to board the plane seeing as we were pretty much the only people left in the entire apart after all of Poland boarded our plane, and then we proceeded to sit on the plane for an hour, leaving FOURTY-FIVE minutes late. Polish airlines, you suck. We walk a mile alllll the way back to row thirty six and the little polish girl in front of me has her seat laying in mine. Sweet, right? The flight attendant comes by and makes her sit up till we take off, so all seems to be good and well. And then, the baby one row back to our left begins to cry. Kill me now. We haven’t even taken off yet and the baby is crying. Get me off the plane. So the woman behind me puts in her two sense on how the babies mother can keep her quiet and occupied, and she said probably one hundred times that no one cares if the baby is crying, its okay. No woman, actually its not okay. Yes I realize that its not the mothers fault her child is crying, but maybe don’t travel with a baby, ever thought of that one? Whatever, I can deal with the crying baby though. So it finally quiets down, and then begins  the never ending commentary of the woman behind me. She begins talking to her Russian friend – don’t forget she just met him on this flight- and begins asking him about his life story. She tells him how her dad and new step mom adopted a child from Siberia, and had to live there for four months, and how it was just terrible. She tells him about how America sucks too, she can understand if he thinks Russia sucks, because apparently he is trying to move. Then she goes on to ask him about his opinion on Obama and Bush. She lives in Austin, Texas but she lived in New York for six years. Apparently, Austin is its own little part, the only place in Texas that stands out. And most importantly, Austin HATES Bush. All of Austin hates Bush. Austin is a democractic little pocket, the only part in Texas and that is what makes it stand out, but that doesn’t change the fact that there have been many attempts to assassinate Bush. In all honesty, I don’t care. This woman is being a terrible American citizen if I may say so myself. You aren’t supposed to talk junk about your country even if it is terrible. Then she proceeds to ask the Russian man if he is single and if he is looking for girls. We haven’t even taken off yet – nine hours of this and I may strangle someone. This would NOT be the place to hit on someone. They proceed to go on about what is good in bed, and she tells him its okay for him to see three girls, and they talk about how you should only sleep with people who are not virgins because then they are guaranteed to be good in bed. Kids, this is an example of what NOT to do. She tells him she is agnostic, and sweetie we ALL know that already. The final straw would be when they begin talking about drinking; she doesn’t drink very much because she doesn’t like the taste, maybe three drinks at a time – then right after this, she says “I never drink”. What is this world coming to. Needless to say, we have nine hours and twenty two minutes left at this point. It is going to be a very long nine hours. Wish me luck.  

Wednesday, May 18, 2011

homegirl needs to get it together

So, I was out shopping with my mom earlier and we were both trying on dresses in the dressing room and all of a sudden this voice begins to speak. Now obviously it belonged to a person, and so me, being the nosy person that I’ve always been and love to be, began to listen to this conversation. Now what really caught my attention was when one girl asked the other if the bra looked cute on her. Then they began to go on and on about how they can’t fit into a DD but a D is too small…. Now honey this may be personal, but I don’t have that problem, those would both be massive on me. But then again, that isn’t any more personal than you talking about that with God only knows who listening. Yeah, the creepy guys waiting for their wives outside the door, probably listening. Little children with their moms, probably listening. They kept going on and on about these problems they have, and they returned to a petty conversation about something boring while my mom and I compared dresses, and then just before we left they began to speak again. The  “double d’s are too big but d’s are too small” girl kept talking. She kept saying how weird her boobs were, and the girls were comparing bras, and then she was asking if the bra made her look sexy. So just when I’m starting to think maybe she plays for the other team, the big whammy came. Homegirl goes “I used to wear lacy bras before I had a boyfriend”…. Sweetie, I don’t actually understand the logic behind this one. I’m not quite sure the difference that it makes but that’s okay. So I’ll end with this, be very careful what you say in public places, somethings are never meant to be shared.

Monday, May 16, 2011

where do we go from here?

I’m going to take a brief moment to be blatantly honest. My last day of high school ever is tomorrow. Sure my dad doesn’t believe it because I have two days with one hour long exams, but dad hate to break it to you, I’m done with school tomorrow. I’ve have spent most of my time wishing away my senior year. I wished that I would hear from colleges, make it to prom, make it to field day, make it to all these big senior moments but in the time I have wished away so much time. Now looking back with only one day left, I feel like I have missed out on so many moments. There have been so many times that I picked one thing over another, and now there’s no way to ever get that back. The one thing we will never have any more of, is time, and now that is all I need. I know that this is crucial to my life, I have to move on at some point, but now that it is here I don’t know if I’m ready for it. Its been fun having something to look forward to but moving out, and college, and growing up is a whole lot scarier once it gets here. So, my honest confession would be that I am terrified out of my mind right now. This is a huge step that I just haven’t mentally prepared myself for yet. People expect so much from us now, we’re going to college, we are starting our futures but now that it is here, all I want is for people to be telling me what to do again. I’ve never had a life beside school, I don’t even know where you go from here. I know that it is all God’s plan, he has it worked out for me, but trying to see it from here is terrifying. It can only go up from here though, and the next chapter of my life is only just beginning.

Sunday, May 15, 2011

ayyyeee cute wittle piggy


That is just the cutest little thing I ever did see. I understand that I’m not much of an animal lover and all, but that doesn’t look like a live animal to me, it looks fake. It also reminds me of the movie ‘Babe’ which now that I think about is kind of weird. I mean no offense, but a movie about pigs? Cool. Not really. I think the reason I am so bitter towards the movie probably has to do with the fact that I was forced to watch it in French probably 100 times in like 5 years. And I didn’t understand a word that they were saying. Traumatic. But the pig in its little boots is cute, so I guess I’m a little less bitter towards that stupid movie. But I’m still traumatized. It was a part of my childhood, and I’m haunted by that dumb pig in my sleep. Just kidding.

Saturday, May 14, 2011

cool vids


ps. if the videos going really slow, click on it
When I was sitting in creative writing, supposed to be working on my poetry book I was not. Confession: I was on stumbleupon, and I found this video. So really I was on doing creative writing, just not poetry because I hate poetry and I want it to die. But anyway, I stumbled upon this funny video and a little birdie told me I could reblog the video and so here it is. You may think the monkey is stupid for pulling the dogs tail, but I think it has the right idea. I mean my dogs have little nubs for tails and I still pull those every chance I get for the sheer enjoyment of them turning around to bite me but never quite making it to my hand before I pull away. Stupid dogs need to learn that it happens the same way every time and so they are never going to get me. Just like this dumb thing couldn’t get the monkey. For being man’s best friend, dogs are kinda stupid.

Friday, May 6, 2011

So, I have this obsession with looking at wedding blogs on stumbleupon. It’s not like I’m trying to get married anytime soon or anything, I mean for God’s sake I’m only 17 years old and as fun as being tied down for the rest of my life right now and worrying about fun things like taxes, and china, and babies, I think I’ll pass and wait a few more years. But wedding blogs are so cute. Like seriously the cutest little thing I have ever seen. Every wedding is so different but they are all so creative. A few of my personal favorites:
I love everything about this wedding. It is simple in its own way, but at the same time it is still nice and neat and fancy. I am obsessed with the brides flowers, and the bridesmade flowers, and everything. This was an absolutely adorable wedding.
This one I am obsessed with. It is the cutest wedding I think I have ever seen. When I usually think of weddings I think of them in these nice exquisite places with everything fancy but this one seriously is the most adorable thing. The pictures of this couple in the pumpkin patch are so cute. Everything about this is adorable, the little kids in their vintage clothes, the wildflower bouquets, the bridesmade dresses. I’m in love with this wedding.

Theres plenty more and I’ll add them at some point but these were the only two I could find in my stumbleupon favorites for right now. Weddings are precious, I love them.

Saturday, April 23, 2011

animal lipstick art

Lipstick art is the newest form of expression... actually this is the first time I have ever seen it in my life and it is weird and I don't think I ever want to see it again. This is not normal. No person in their right mind would ever go out in public with this, so why waste the time and money on lipstick to do this and just hide in your house. This is freakish and weird.

This is the "foxy lips". Thats weird. First off, if you think you are foxy and you put this on your face, take note: YOU ARE NOT FOXY. Why would you do this ever? Where are you gonna go with that on? A fox party? NO. Go wash your face.


This one is called the "endangered panda lips". Sweetie, something is only endangered if it is living and starting to not be living anymore because they are all dying. The only thing being endangered by your panda lips is you having friends. Again, please go wash your face this is weird.


"These lips be good".... No. These lips be bad. What bee have you ever seen with blue wings? None. I don't think I've ever seen a bee close enough to know if they have blue on their wings. But I am pretty certain that bees don't have a dazed look like this in their eyes. Comeon now. Oh, and that wart, or mole or whatever on your face is distracting.

I don't know if I am more disturbed by the fact that someone painted a Pokemon on their face and thought it was socially acceptable, or the fact that there is an orange tongue in the picture. And again, the wart or mole is really distracting me. Pikachu needs to zap that thing off with this little electrical tail.




This one is just weird. Crab lips......... COOL!!!!!!!!! But not really. This is making me crabby.. get it?! Crabby... yeah not funny. Just like this is really not cool. Please get rid of these lips because its freaking me out.

Saturday, April 16, 2011

Excuse me..... um what?!

Okay, may I start by this guy is a stud. He is basically punching a shark in the gill. Studmuffin. He is manhandling a shark. Not even gonna lie, that’s cool. I wish I could manhandle, but I’m not a man and really I wouldn’t want to handle a shark because it would probably eat me. The caption would probably be my favorite part: Excuse me I was looking at the water. Buddy, sorry to break it to you, but that water is something nasty. You were just trying to be witty, and I’ll give it to you that you were, but that water is murky, and nasty, and brown and disgusting. So sorry, but you were not looking at the water. Just saying.

Wednesday, April 13, 2011

Love Poem



I think this man may have the wrong perspective on life. Either that, or he’s young, naïve and probably a frat boy obsessed with the idea of never settling down. Just a few options for ya. But anyway, I mean I’m 17 years old and the idea of waking up next to someone every morning for the rest of my life kind of repulses me right now. I mean seriously, who wants to wake up to someone’s morning breath every single morning. “Oh goodmorning sweetie, lord please brush those things before I pass out from the stench of your breath” is really romantic and all, but I’m okay settling with sleeping alone for a while. I can love from a distance for now. And for a while actually. I like my personal space, and having my covers stolen in the middle of the night would quite frankly, make me love them less and less every night. It wouldn’t end good for them. So I get all the mushy love stuff about how cute it is to wake up to the love of your life every morning and all that junk, but I’m alright not having to handle that for a while. I mean yeah, I guess this guy is a little cynical and apparently so am I. For a love poem, this is pretty depressing but whatever, until I’m at least 25, I agree with his perspective on life. Which I guess in a sense relates me to a young, naïve person ( obviously not a frat boy cause I’m a girl….) but I’m okay with that. At least for now anyway.

Tuesday, April 12, 2011

Cute dog.... HA.


I’m sorry to offend, but honestly the people who do things like this to their pets are freaks. I mean comeon, it takes a lot for me to  blog about animals that I don’t hate or anything, but this one I just feel sorry for. A dog dyed green, stuffed in a trashcan to look like a sesame street character? Are you kidding me? I’m pretty sure that’s animal cruelty. I mean that is just freakish. If this was supposed to be for Halloween or something I mean yeah I sort of get it, but did you expect the dog to sit in the trashcan all night? I would be a little offended if I were the dog. “oh sit in the trashcan all night and be a little prop and people can say how cute you are and we can be proud”. I would bite you. That is not okay. Dogs have feelings too. They want to be loved and treasured. Would you dye your child green and stuff it in a trashcan like its worthless and just for show? If its yes, go get some psychological help… and call child services. Poor little dog. People these days.

Thursday, April 7, 2011

one liners...... tehehehe

I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I find this one to be highly entertaining. Although it probably wouldn't work, there is very good logic behind it. I mean if you ask God for something specific and shallow, chances are you aren't just going to have it given to you. So, the logic in this witty one liner was quite good.

You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Again, witty. It is true that you only need a parachute to skydive if it isn't your death wish. Which would be kind of morbid. So parachutes would be appreciated.

Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
A huge fact of life, is people don't care about your problems. They have enough problems of their own to worry about, without having to worry about yours too. So maybe when they start laughing you should realize it is not a pity laugh, but simply a "ha you actually think I care about your problems how pathetic" kind of laugh instead.

I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.

If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?

This girl rang me up one time, she says "come over, nobody is home", I went over, no one was home!
You are an idiot. And dirty. And guilible. HA.

The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
I'd have to disagree with this one. My hip bones tend to find things more often than my shins. And my toes. But, whatever part finds seems to be "it" in the stupid hide-and-seek in the dark with furniture game, never fails to bruise.

Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.
hahahahahhahahahaha. thats all i have to say.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
bahahh whoever came up with this one is a genius. that is hilarious. I have a strange sense of humor, but its still funny.

I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
All I have to say, is if I end up dying in this such way, lord save me and make m like the grandfather. As fun as a car crash to my death sounds, I think I'll pass on the joyous occasion.

Sunday, April 3, 2011

Why are you trying to wear your cat as clothes..?



In all honesty, I'm not sure which I'm more concerned for.. the cats or the fact that this is just disturbing. Granted, I googled "weird pictures" so that I could find something to blog about, but I had expected funny things like the moutheyes picture with hair coming out of the eyes. But a nude couple with cats covering their parts (and let me just say thank the LORD for those cats being there) was definately NOT what I expected. I've got a few issues with this picture. First off, I'm trying to figure out why this picture was ever taken. Because it is just repulsive. Second, they look really happy, like im talking REALLY happy. I hate cats. Despise them actually. So the fact that these people are naked with those naaasty animals on their laps and they STILL look happy is actually making me quite nauseous. Third, the people and cats are both oversized. This is not a rude statement, it is simply a fact that I know because of the fat rolls hanging out the side, and the amazing fact that the cats are hiding most of the other rolls. So, I appreciate the cats being fat, but I think I would appreciate it more if the people were skinnier or the cats fatter to keep me pure and not ruined from seeing that much of the people. But my eyes are already bleeding, and whats done is done. Helpful hint: If you want to take a picture like this (we won't be friends anymore) but keep it off the internet for the sake of the public.

Friday, April 1, 2011

how to tick people off

HOW TO TICK PEOPLE OFF

  1. Leave the copy machine set to reduce 200%, extra dark, 17 inch paper, 99 copies.
  2. Specify that your drive-through order is "TO-GO."
  3. If you have a glass eye, tap on it occasionally with your pen while talking to others.
  4. Stomp on little plastic ketchup packets.
  5. Insist on keeping your car windshield wipers running in all weather conditions "to keep them tuned up."
  6. Reply to everything someone says with "that's what you think."
  7. Practice making fax and modem noises.
  8. Highlight irrelevant information in scientific papers and "cc" them to your boss.
  9. Make beeping noises when a large person backs up.
  10. Finish all your sentences with the words "in accordance with prophesy."
  11. Signal that a conversation is over by clamping your hands over your ears and grimacing.
  12. Disassemble your pen and "accidentally" flip the ink cartridge across the room.
  13. Holler random numbers while someone is counting.
  14. Adjust the tint on your TV so that all the people are green, and insist to others that you "like it that way."
  15. Staple pages in the middle of the page.
  16. Publicly investigate just how slowly you can make a croaking noise.
  17. Honk and wave to strangers.
  18. Decline to be seated at a restaurant, and simply eat their complimentary mints at the cash register.
  19. TYPE IN UPPERCASE.
  20. type only in lowercase.
  21. dont use any punctuation either
  22. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets.
  23. Repeat the following conversation a dozen times.
    "DO YOU HEAR THAT?"
    "What?"
    "Never mind, it's gone now."
  24. As much as possible, skip rather than walk.
  25. Try playing the William Tell Overture by tapping on the bottom of your chin. When nearly done, announce "No, wait, I messed it up," and repeat.
  26. Ask people what gender they are.
  27. While making presentations, occasionally bob your head like a parakeet.
  28. Sit in your front yard pointing a hair dryer at passing cars to see if they slow down.
  29. Sing along at the opera.
  30. Go to a poetry recital and ask why each poem doesn't rhyme.
  31. Ask your co-workers mysterious questions and then scribble their answers in a notebook. Mutter something about "psychological profiles."


Now... obviously I didn't write these. I'm creative yes, but not this creative.
But these are actually really good ideas. Maybe I’m cruel, or maybe you people just need to get a sense of humor. I mean come on… 3. If you have a glass eye, occasionally tap it with a pen while you’re talking to people.. that is classic. I wish I had a glass eye simply to do that. I can only imagine my reaction to that so I’m sure that others would be at least as funny as mine, but probably funnier. 22. Buy a large quantity of orange traffic cones and reroute whole streets…. Again, classic. I am almost tempted to do this. I had to delete the real number two because it was dirty, but the other things on this list are really funny and quite entertaining. I may have to try them out and blog about them ayeee.

Tuesday, March 29, 2011

Encouraging Quotes


This is possibly the most encouraging thing I have ever heard. Okay, maybe thats a little bit of a joke.. haha.. you can laugh, its funny. But in all honesty, this is somewhat true. Life is overwhelming. Life is full of twists and turns and none of us know what to expect. But in the end, it all comes down to one thing: we die. There is nothing that you can do to avoid this, it just happens. So no matter how overwhelming life is, it will always get simple. So stick it out, and live it up, it ends the same way for everyone.

Sunday, March 20, 2011

college blog hehe

I realize that the ‘hehe’ in the title was creepy. But what the heck, why not add it. I’m tired and trying to blog and study is not working for me very well. Especially after a long weekend of no sleep and work for over seven hours today. Not cool. Anyway, since this seems to be all that is ever on my mind now, I figured I’d blog about it. So, college application statuses:
 EAST CAROLINA UNIVERSITY: ACCEPTED.
And definitely NOT attending. No offense or anything, I mean I know the school is gorgeous and I know that people have a “good time” there if ya know what I mean, but that’s just not my idea of a good time, sorry.
APPALACHIAN STATE UNIVERSITY: ACCEPTED
Not sure. I love the school, I love the campus, and I love the whole feel of being at a mountain school. It’s a few hours away so I have a little breathing room, but it’s not too far that I can never visit. And its instate so its super cheap compared to other schools. But, it doesn’t have my major, just some classes to get me close so who knows, but it’s number one on my list as of right now, but I still have a ton of thinking to do.
 UNIVERSITY OF SOUTH CAROLINA: ACCEPTED
Okay, so in all honesty I have no idea why I even applied here. I don’t want to go but I guess its just nice to see a college acceptance. Like someone, somewhere always says “the more the merrier”. But anyway, I wasn’t considering it at all, it came in the mail and I was just like “oh cool” even though I didn’t actually care and then I just sat it on the counter and didn’t care about it anymore. But then I got a scholarship so I guess I sort of have to consider it… Maybe?
UNIVERSIT OF NORTH CAROLINA: DENIED
Well...... this ones a little awkward and self-explanatory. I will not be attending UNC. But in all honesty, I never did want to, it'd just be an accomplishment to get in. The school is great, but theres a lot of tools there. No offense to those of you there who aren't tools.
 VIRGINA TECH: ACCEPTED

Seriously, I don’t think I have ever been so excited to hear back from a college. I had NO idea that I would hear when I did. I got a text from a friend at 11:30 at night the day after I got rejected from Carolina. My heart was not even beating when I opened it because I was so nervous to get rejected again. And believe me, I was expecting to be rejected. VT is a really good school, and I’m still in shock from getting in. But I am beyond excited and really considering it, yay I love acceptances (they are a lot nicer than denials).
JAMES MADISON UNIVERSITY: UNKNOWN
I still haven’t heard back which is kind of freaking me out. JMU has an OT program that’s really competitive and so if I get in, its almost a definite. But I’m not sure I want to go out of state so I have no idea what I’m going to do and I’m tired now and out of thoughts about this.

Stumbleupon #3

MY LIFE. But seriously, this is. During the day at school, I do nothing. So that would be the large portion of my life spent distracting others as to not completely waste my time. When I do have work, I procrastinate. Critical thinking is not actually a part of senior year.Fourth period, I have teachers assistant. Which counts as a class, I mean I get a 100 if I show up, but in all honesty, I probably shouldn’t because all I do is distract the class. I get so bored just sitting there doing nothing. And I would do my work from all that procrastination except, I don’t have any work to do, because I’ve already done it in the two study halls that come before this one. So I distract others.





This is the most ingenious idea ever. Seriously, whoever came up with this is so smart. Every holiday, birthday, get well, anything that you could possibly give a gift for has a name somewhere on the wrapping paper. I don’t know where my life would be without stumbleupon right now. Seriously, this wrapping paper just blew my mind and if I weren’t running late for work and getting these blogs turned in, I would have bought it online. Maybe next time. Seriously though, coolest wrapping paper ever.

Wednesday, March 16, 2011

Stumbleupon #2


This picture is just beautiful. I'm not actually quite sure what to say about it, or how to describe my feelings about it, but I figured since I'm waiting for my cookies in the oven to finish I might as well blog away. So, the first time I saw this picture on stumbleupon I actually stumbled away accidently. But then I came back, and I made it my favorite and since then I have looked at it about ten more times. The picture is pure evidence of God’s amazing wonders. This tree stands out, in the middle of a lake. It is set apart from the other trees, it is little but magnificent. Sunlight is shining down, just on this tree but missing the huge ones around it. I think that this really speaks to I Timothy 4:12; Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young, but set an example for the believers in speech, in conduct, in love, in faith and in purity. I feel like as young people we can related to much to this tree. It is an outcast in sorts from the rest of the trees, almost pushed away. Often times, we are discriminated against because we are young and our opinions seem not to matter. However, this brilliant light is shining down on the tree, magnifying its colors and showing its true greatness. God has plans for all of us, and instead of sitting back and accepting that others don’t think we’re good enough, we need to know that God’s light will always shine down on us no matter how small we are, and we will be able to do amazing things through him.

Tuesday, March 15, 2011

Poetry


I came to school Monday morning, forcing a smile on my face, a fake tone of happiness in my voice. I felt like a porcelain doll about to crack from the inside, a scream begging to be let out. And then a disaster came leaving my painted on face shattered in a million pieces. It was three words. WE'RE DOING POETRY. My heart stopped. My eyes widened. My blood grew cold in my veins. Poetry. The word was vile. It was like poison on my tongue. Poetry will be the death of me. I hate poetry. How do you even write it? A cheesy rhyme scheme? How can you put the words together and make it sound beautiful. There is no format, no way to write it, you just do. My blood began to flow again, pumping faster and faster. Finally, a thought came. I've got it: "Poetry, poetry, is no fun. Poetry makes me hate everyone." Not good enough. The sound is childlike, pathetic. Again, I though. Rhyme, rhythm, alliteration, all these words raced through my head. "The big black bear ate the big black bug." So if thats poetry, its really bad. I kept thinking, trying to find something and it hit me... poetry comes from the depths of your soul. It is a volcano erupting; The idea begins to move and heat up and evolve inside of you until it bursts out leaving the inside of you showing to the world, all your thoughts and feelings exposed. It is like an IV, the words dripping down until it becomes a part of who you are. Poetry has no form, no way it must be, because poetry is you, it is the music inside your soul. 

Monday, March 14, 2011

elephant on toilet..........?



I googled "happy world people" for a blog, because I needed a picture. This would be a picture that popped up on there and to be quite frank I am a little bit confused. Number one, this is an elephant not people. Number two, I don't know why this is happy, I'm just a little disgusted and I am trying to hold back my dinner. And number three, what does this have to do with the world?! So seriously, google has some issues. I mean yeah I guess this could be a potentially cool thing but do we honestly have to mess with every part of nature. I don't know if this is fake or real, but if it is real, I must say that it is pathetic that we feel the need to tamper with human nature. Now I am just angry. Scientists, get a life. This is freakish.

Sunday, March 13, 2011

shout-out to my foreign friends round 2

current list of my viewing countries:
United States
Canada
Denmark
Slovenia
US Virgin Islands
Netherlands
China
Naimibia
Jamaica
France
Croatia
Japan
United Arab Emirates
Russia
South Africa
South Korea
United Kingdom
India
Ireland
Switzerland
Germany
Sweden
Portugal
Hong Kong

I think thats really cool. Maybe you disagree with me, but the best part is that I didnt ask your opinion and so it doesn't actually matter what you think. I'm bitter right now, excuse my attitude. I don't actually know if the people in other countries can read this. Maybe on stumbleupon in countries like India and Croatia, it translates it into their language for their reading pleasure. Or maybe not. The reason I say that is because the boyfriend liked my blog with his stumbleupon account, and so now my blog is avaliable for the eyes of my fellow stumblers.



I imagine these counties a little something like this picture: the globe being my blog and these people happily connected by weird colored string because my blog gives them happy feelings. Either that or once they have enough people holding strings they are going to come and strangle me with their strings. Thats all I got for now, anyway I like foreign friends so share me with more!

Saturday, March 12, 2011

something i hate...

I absolutely despise having math 7th period. In all honesty, having ap calc in general is too much stress. But having it the very last class of the day is terrible. If I have a test, I sit and worry and review till my eyes want to bleed, and then by the time I get to the test, the day of stress leaves me too tired to think. Stupid idea. I worried all day about the stupid test I had after sitting up and studying math for like FIVE hours last night. Normally that would be an exaggeration but not this time. I found out like 3 periods before the test that I needed a 100 to guarantee an A. But what do I end up with? A lousy 93 on the test, leaving me with a lovely 92 for the quarter. Turns out im like .4 points away from an A. All my hardwork down the drain, I should have gone to bed instead of studying. SCREW AP CALC YAY.

Friday, March 11, 2011

Stumbleupon #1



I found this picture on stumbleupon. Granted I've found tons of pictures on Stumbleupon, but this was absolutely gorgeous. I absolutely love when the sky reflects on the water, but the water around here is so dingy that you just get a nasty murky reflection and that is just not cute. However, this place is gorgeous. The lake is so clear and beautiful and the sky has a wonderful reflection. There is one thing about this picture though that bothers me. There is a rock sitting alone in the middle of the lake. That poor rock is sticking out of the all the beauty. It is by itself, lonely and pathetic. It is just sticking up begging for someone to love it. But I don't actually think that makes sense. This is a beautiful picture though, and I want to go visit this place because it is absolutely amazing.

Thursday, March 10, 2011

The Wonderful World of Stumbleupon

Stumbleupon is the most genious website ever created. For those of you not fortunate enough to have heard of , you have not lived yet. Stumbleupon is a website where you picktopics of your interest and then you hit stumble. The stumble button brings the world to you. Seriously. Don't believe me? Go to http://www.stumbleupon.com/ and find a life. Stumbleupon has brought me face to face with some of the absolute prettiest pictures I have ever seen. It has shown me some of the most abstract buildings in the world, some of the strangest animals, fun games and music, and of course, the ugly dancer. But in all seriousness, Stumbleupon brings the world to your fingertips and its even blackberry, android and iPhone compatible yay! I have found things I'd never imagined on stumbleupon and now my life is complete. So, all I'm saying is try out stumbleupon if you want to be cool.

Tuesday, February 22, 2011

My car is possessed by demons.

My car has demons pumping thorugh her pipes or whatever the gas runs through in a car. The demons live inside her engine and drink up her gas whenever their feeling extra frisky. Let me explain.

About two or three weeks ago, I was driving. My gas light came on around 270. Uhh problem. Normally the gas light comes on around 300. So anyway,gas light blinks once and turns off, so my mom tells me that I'll be fine to get to school and back. On the way to school my gas light came on at 299. After school, my boyfriend started my car for me because I was afraid there wouldn't be enough gas for it to start well. But it started like a charm and I figured that I would stop at the bank before going home because it is on the way home. Not even .1 miles out of the way, literally I drive right past it. So I go to the bank, I'm feeling happy and relieved to finally be done with what was possibly the worst day of school ever. I get outside hop in the car and of course, just my luck, the stupid thing doesn't start. That demon inhabited beast ran out of gas at THREE HUNDRED and EIGHT miles, 308, are you kidding me?!  That is simply a mere 9 miles after the gas light came on. So while I was busy in the bank, perfectly content with this good mood that was beginning, those demons were drinking up my gas. NOT COOL.

Next tank of gas,

Normally, my lovely car makes it to about 150 miles before it hits the half-tank warning line. But not this tank of gas. The demons must have been feeling extra frisky or something because i hit half tank at SEVENTY. Is that supposed to be a joke or something? Really, like my mom asked if someone was salvaging my gas because this is a freakish problem. Its just the demons though. I had to refill that tank at 152. That is simply a waste of money. Not to mention the stupid car guzzled like 11.5 gallons of gas when i filled it and normally its around 10. Freak car, thats what it is. Not to mention that when I got to the gas station there were at least four cars waiting at every pump except one. I picked that one, smart right? Except not really because the man who drove the banana yellow pickup that was at the pump was nowhere to be found and so that demon car left me sitting there panicking that I was going to run out of gas waiting in line. When the man finally did come out, he stared me down the ENTIRE time he pumped gas which made me so so uncomfortable. Not to mention, I saw him at another random place like two hours later. I was scared for my life. Thank you demons.

Now, I realize that this is an irrational fear. I mean demons possessing my car, how unrealistic? But when they decide they like your car better, I will laugh in your face. For the mean time, I should probably go get gas soon in case the demons decide to drink the rest tonight, sweeeeettt.

Tuesday, February 15, 2011

I know I'm a girl and all...

But in all seriousness, King of Africa is a sick beat. Click on it and you'll know what I'm talking about.

So I'm sitting here doing homework. I don't think I've ever taken more than an hour and a half to write a history essay before. Probably because the information is always straight from the book, you can google the prompt, or someone else has been nice enough to tell me what the prompt is asking before I do it. This time however, I spent about three hours writing it and it is still not very good. But whatever, its a quiz grade. No worries, it'll almost definately be a hundred, yay for lazy grading teachers <3

So anyway, like always I am listening to music while I do homework. It helps me concentrate. I understand that some people freak out and absolutely cannot focus if anything else is going on. Let me just say thank the Lord I am not one of those people, because pandora has opened a wonderful world allowing me to discover the best music while I am supposed to be doing homework yay. So anyway, King of Africa is from my boy's ipod and I just love it so I'm listening to it now. But pandora... oh my pandora! It is like a homework heaven. It takes me away from AP Euro papers and AP Calc papers and just makes me happy. So forget that it is 11:00 PM and I've lost my train of thought for my math paper, pandora is there to make me smile.

I don't actually think there was a point to this blog other than to share the King of Africa song which was the link on the very top if you didn't get it. But thanks for reading all this anyway.

Saturday, January 29, 2011

sick and tired of being sick and tired

Today, January 29th would be day 13 of me being sick. This is getting a little ridiculous. I understand that there are things lke virues that go around, but really can't the stupid things take a break. Last year, there was the swine flu epidemic which completely took over our school. The "crud" thats been going around has taken out more people in a week than the swine flu did total last year. Really crud? Come on and leave me alone.

Last time I blogged, was the first time I had gotten out of bed the whole weekend. I was thinking I was feeling better, but by the time I was done blogging I was so tired that I could do nothing the rest of the day. Monday was basically a fail of a day because I was too tired to pay attention in any classes and I had to learn an entire chapter of AP Euro that night. So that just assured that I would be tired the rest of the week. Tuesday, I woke up and I was feeling good. I thought that I was finally healthy and I wasn't even tired even though I did not get much sleep. I was in an amazing mood, it was wonderful. But by that night I was not feeling so hot anymore. And thus began my downfall. I am now sitting on the couch on a Saturday night. Sweet, right? I have been here since about 2:00 this afternoon, before which I was in bed since I had woken up at 7:00 am. Rough. I am now affected by my cough and cold, but now have been blessed with a stomach ache like no others. This is pain equivalent to a giant jumping on my stomach, or a porcupine rolling around inside me, painful. I have not eaten, other than a few awful low-fat, low-sodum saltines, since lunch yesterday. Needless to say this sickness has left me hungry and cranky. Joy.

I feel like there are little animals living inside me, or maybe little mythical creatures. I think they could be called little mischievous fairies. They are running around inside of me playng tricks on my body. They tell my brain that it is okay for me to feel healthy when I am at school and have nothing to do, so I am allowed to be healthy and bored. But when I have things to do, like when I wake up, or get home from school, or on the weekends, it is okay for my body to be sick and not feel good all day. Little mischievous fairies, I am not appreciating your antics. I don't understand why you hate me so much. Can you not just make me feel gross when I am sleeping, or when I would not like to be doing something other than laying on the couch watching Disney Channel and crappy movies. I like my weekends. The fairies obviously do not. This is no fun anymore. The two weeks of sickness need to end, but not like I thought they ended last time. I want the fairies to play nice and fair and not trick me. I want to feel better, can we please be friends fairies?

Sunday, January 23, 2011

The "Crud".

So I begin feeling sick last Monday. Granted, it is now Sunday, and this is the first day that I feel well enough to blog about my illness. So one may say, "Oh, did you have the flu?" or "Strept throat?". Let me assure you, it was quite the opposite. The doctor diagnosed me with..... the "Crud".

We'll start with some definitions. This is quite the medical term, so as you may guess, these will be strictly medical definitions.

As told by urbandictionary.com, the "crud" is:
When you turn into a walking snot ball you have "The Crud" You cough up mucus and your nose runs constantly therefor the use of the word "crud".
 
As much as I would like to agree with their definition, they have it slightly off. And here begins our story.
 
I wake up Monday. Everything is fine, minus it being Monday, a holiday, and me having school. But anyway, birds are chirping outside, life is going on. So I get up, go to school, the whole deal. At some point later on, the headaches begin. I get home from school, and the dreaded cough begins. So I tell my parents that I'm not feeling that great, but its okay. I go to school Tuesday. The body aches begin, then the chills, then the earaches. By Wedsnesday, I have every symptom of the flu, except the fever. Of course, just my luck. I got in bed at like 5:00 that night, and had crazy dreams. The kind of crazy dreams you only have when you are sick. Thursday I wake up, and I think I am dying. You may be thinking yeah right, you just didn't feel that good, but honestly I would have felt better rotting away then I did waking up that morning. It was bad. I go to school for two classes, long enough to take my calculus test early and fail it because my sickness prevailed me and I forgot all I knew. No worries though, it only dropped my average sixteen points, no biggie. I sleep all day, woke up Friday morning trying to put myself in the mindset of 'TGIF' and 'yay weekend', but it wasn't happening, I just wanted to rip my eyes out they hurt so bad. I spent the entire day at school, hoping that I would be fine to enjoy my weekend. But no, of course not. With ONE hour left of school, I called my mom and left to go to the doctor.
 
(side note: I HATE the doctor. I have not been there for an illness since freshman year. I went in with a 103 fever, only to get diagnosed with the "crud" which brings us back to the story)
 
I drive home, and get back in the car like two minutes later to ride back down to the doctors office with my mom. I go back, and tell the lady doctor, "last time I was here, they told me I had the "crud" and that really bothers me, that is not medical terminology and please do not let me have the crud". So she says "okay" and they check me for flu and strept and come back to tell me both tests were... negative. Of course. Just my luck right. So I sit there looking at her waiting to hear what is wrong with me, and these words come out of her mouth like daggers stabbing into my sore and aching body, "You have the 'crud'". I was so angry. I could have spit, if only her stupid swab tests hadn't removed all the body liquids from me leaving me dried out and unhappy. I could see the smirk dancing in the corner of her mouth, mocking me singing "You have the 'crud', you have the 'crud'". I felt defeated. As if it couldn't get any worse, then my mom chimes in "Oh, well if she doesn't have the flu, can she still get a flu shot?" I thought "No mom, No. She can't still get the flu shot, she hurts everywhere, she doesn't need it." But the peppy doctor, opened the door and yelled out to her evil minon nurses, "Can I get a flu shot".
 
Ten minutes later, I walked out the door of the hospital. I walked in just a normal girl going to get checked on to make sure she wasn't deathly ill, and I walked out sore, poked, and prodded. It was a miserable experience. The "crud" is the worst virus one could ever get. There is no medicine that can help you. You have to sit and suffer. I am sitting here typing, almost one whole week after this all began with a simple headache, telling you to save yourself. Run far far away, you don't want the "crud". It is cruel and mean, and it mocks you while you lay in your bed all weekend, unable to move. It laughs in your face while you see all the fun things going on around you on twitter and facebook, but you can't do them because you have the "crud". Save yourself before it is too late.

Friday, January 14, 2011

This is mouth eyes. Its kind of creepy. If I were this girl I would be embarrassed of  this picture even before my eyes turned into mouths. (ps. http://knowyourmeme.com/memes/mouth-eyes)
This is an ugly bird.  It is a king vulture. It is giving me the stink eye.
I google-imaged princesses, this is what a got. This is a really fat cat. This is not a princess. If I were a little kid and I saw this I would run away screaming. It would ruin my childhood and liking of princesses.
I am not sure what this jungle man is doing, but the leopard print scarf is a turnon.
I google-imaged triathalons... this is what a found. This is a couch-skelly (he can't be a couch potato because he's not a potato)
www.icanhascheeseburger.com

Thursday, January 13, 2011

cool cars are for kewl kats.







These are the coolest cars I've ever seen in my life minus the few that are kind of disturbing. If you google "funny cars" (like I did) then beware because some strange things may come up. I think cars should probably stay normal like regular cars and then dirty cars wouldn't come up when I just wanted to see cool ones.

Saturday, January 8, 2011

If I were an animal....

I hate when I have too much time on my hands, because that would be when I begin to over think things. There are all those dumb ads on facebook, and random websites where you can take quizzes to see what animal you would be. And honestly, those are the kinds of things I think about when I am bored. This is why I should not go to school. Anyway, if I were an animal what would I be...

1. Cat: Although this could be a promising option, I absolutely despise cats so why would I ever want to be one. I mean sure they do nothing all day, I could go in and out mostly likely as I pleased. I could lay whereever I want and I could lick myself, but how gross is that? I don't want to spit up hairballs all day, eat nasty bugs and get rained on all day. That would suck. So cats are definately ruled out.

2. Dog: This too could be fun, go on walks, sleep in peoples beds, do pretty much whatever I want. If I fortunate to be a dog as spoiled as mine, I would have all the toys in the world, free reign of the house, and my owners completely whipped to my every beck and call. I could ring a bell, and my owners would come feed me or take me out or whatever I want. But after a while, the same-old same-old would get boring. So, sorry to the dogs, I would NOT want to be one of them.

3. Bugs: Ew, this is not even an option. No one likes bugs, and so this is not worth commenting on. If I were a bug, I would probably get stepped on and be done. So, ew no.

4. Bird: I've thought about this one a lot actually. I mean how cool would it be to have the freedom to fly whereever you want whenever you want. But then you have to worry about things like their stupid migratory patterns, and the fact that they have to eat certain things and so it kind of ruins the fun of being able to go wherever you want. But it would still be cool to fly. Just not as cool as it could be if they didn't have to be so environment picky

I had more thoughts but then they went away so I think that I would want to be a flying squirrel. I'm not sure why,  I just think they are cool. I want to glide freely from tree to tree and have people watch me on planet earth and talk about how cute I am and how much they wish they had me as a pet. That would be cool.

Thursday, January 6, 2011

rhyming game

Over Christmas Break, I discovered a fun game at like four in the morning. I was really tired and so it didn't make much sense. Also, I'm not sure why it is so fun but it is and I like it.

Rules:
-you have to go in alphabetical order (except vowels because they're weird)
-it doesn't have to be a real world


example: zipper

bipper
cipper
dipper
fipper
gipper
hipper
ipper
jipper
kipper
lipper
nipper
pipper
quipper
rippper
sipper
tipper
vipper
wipper
yipper
zipper

its fun. but its more fun when you say it out loud. That is all.

Wednesday, January 5, 2011

HEAVEN.

When I think of heaven I think of Yogurt Mountain. There is nothing more heavenly than that. (http://www.yogurtmountain.com/)



Yogurt Mountain is the most ingenious idea for a place ever. Self serve yogurt is so much better than yogurt served by grumpy people with greasy hair and dirty hands who are getting paid minimum wage to have an attitude when you ask for more toppings. But at the lovely Yogurt Mountain allows you to pick your flavors and how much, you can mix and match them as you please. Then after you are done compiling an assortment of soft frozen yogurt goodness, you can go over to the seemingly never ending buffet of topics and pile your sugary goodness with more sugar. There is nothing better.

Thank you Yogurt Mountain, you have given me something worth living for.

Tuesday, January 4, 2011

bestfriend texts

7:05 am - Omg school. Kill myself. 
7:05 am- I HATE it here. 
7:05 am- Come get me. 
7:05 am- Save me
7:05 am- I have a bad feeling about today 
7:05 am- :( 
7:06 am- I'm blowing up your phone because I'm scared of the boy next to me. 
7:06 am- He keeps staring.....
7:06 am- I hate it when people stare at me
7:06 am- it gives me the creeps
7:06 am- And I have to know every country in the world by first period. 
7:06 am- Can you say. NO BUENO?
7:06 am- I hate this place
7:07 am- Who invented mbrook?
7:07 am- They should die
7:07 am- I bet there already are dead
7:07 am- Which means they don't have to put up with this. 
7:07 am- Immmaaa shoot em'
7:10 am- I love you too. But love isn't gonna save me megan berry! This place is too powerful. Its like a psych ward here. There are too many freak. TOO MANY!!!!!
7:14 am- I'm sitting in the library by myself. Listening to some FREAK with purple hair talk about this book about a guy and a girl who went on a bike ride. And she has the "editors version" oooo purple hair you're so cool imma slapp you. Omg omg she just used the phrase "asian'ness" 
7:16 am- Haha ugh I wish I had your life. I hate this place megan like I just wanna cry. 
7:16 am- I want to be mini and run away and I'd be so small I would kick the bike cop in the toe and he wouldnt even seen me, then I'd run. 
7:16 am- Then get big again. 
7:20 am- I wish I could. If you were Jesus, I would leave and just say to the office, my Heavenly Father is calling me so back off!
7:21 am- Some Asian just walked right into the door hahahahah 



needless to say I love her.