twenty-eight jokes for christmas

1. Where do snowmen keep their money?
           A snowbank

2. Where does Christmas come before Easter?
          The alphabet

3. What falls often but never gets hurt?
           Snow

4. What's in December that's not in any other month? (and it's NOT Christmas)
           D

5. On what side of the house do pine trees grow best?
          Outside

6. What does a cat get when it crosses the desert?
          Sandy Claus

7. What kind of dance do snowmen go to?
           Snow Ball

8. Which burns longer, a red Christmas candle or a green Christmas candle?
           Neither, they both get shorter

9. Is it okay to write a letter to Santa on an empty stomach?
           Yeah, but you need paper

10. What smells best in the kitchen?
            Your nose

11. How do you make a reindeer float?
            Ice cream, soda, and a reindeer

12. What two things does Santa never eat for breakfast?
            Lunch and dinner

13. How many pieces of candy can you put in an empty stocking?
            One

14. What is an elf's favorite dessert?
            Shortcake

15. What most resembles half a Christmas cookie?
            The other half

16. When is a Christmas cake like a cold window pane?
            When there has been a frosting

17. What can Santa take up the chimney down but not down the chimney up?
            An umbrella

18. Why does Santa wear red mittens?
            To keep his hands warm

19. Why do reindeer fly over rooftops?
            Because they can't go under

20. What state does Santa visit that is high in the middle and round on both ends?
            Ohio

21. How is Santa's sleigh like a track team?
           They both have runners

22. What does Santa have all over his workshop?
           A roof

23. Where was Santa when his Christmas lights went out?
           In the dark

24. Why do Santa and his reindeer fly around the world on Christmas Eve?
          Because it's too far to walk

25. When does Santa finish delivering his presents?
         In the nick of time

26. What does the gingerbread boy have on his bed?
        Cookie Sheets

27. Which two letters of the alphabet does your Christmas stocking look like the day after Christmas?
         M-T

28. How does Santa Claus do his gardening?
         With a ho-ho-ho






these came from my 7th grade sister, not my fault if they're cheesy.

ps. Santa misspelled is Satan just some food for thought

Post 50 :)

That is Megan Berry. Aka me except not me. Megan Berry is hot. I especially like the tattoos, the holding up of the wrench as if saying "I'll bash in your brain if you look at me wrong" and of course, the muscle flex. There are so many right things about this picture I don't know what could possibly be wrong. This is pure perfection.

 

 

This is also Megan Berry except not really. I googled Megan Berry images, and I think this is a brother, but he came up under Megan Berry and so his name is going to be Megan Berry too. Now, he also has huge muscles, an intimidating face and is holding a scary violent object. I am not a scary violent person so this does not accurately represent me. Sorry Megan Berry, you are a man and we do not look alike.

This is a picture posted by Megan Berry. Again, not me Megan Berry, but some random unknown Megan Berry. I wish I could take credit for this picture, because this is quite the picture. That man playing the guitar, HOT SHORTS. The other man.. he is a diva. He fits so nicely into his top and shorts. I just love it. I wish I were the Megan Berry that took this picture. Thank you unknown Megan Berry for inspiring me.

This is still not me. As much fun as it would be to pose in an awkward outfit on sharp jagged rocks. But thats not cool Megan Berry, take pictures in normal outfits on smooth rocks. That would be more comfortable. I am NOT like this Megan Berry.

And finally my best accomplishment as Megan Berry would by far be:

I, Megan Berry, am the main character of this book. Here is a preview:
Megan Berry is a Zombie Settler by birth, which means she's part-time shrink to a whole bunch of semi-dead people with killer issues. All Megan really wants is to go to homecoming, but when you're trailed by a bunch of slobbering corpses whenever you leave the house, it's kinda hard to score a date. Let's just say Megan's love life could use some major resuscitation.

Megan's convinced her life can't get any worse - until someone in school starts using black magic to turn average, angsty Undead into scary, hardcore flesh-eating Zombies. Now it's up to Megan to stop the Zombie apocalypse. Her life - and more importantly, the homecoming dance - depends on it.

That is the coolest thing that ever happened to me. Thank you for writing a novel about me being a Zombie Settler. I don't know what a Zombie Settler is but it the coolest thing that I have ever been in all of my lives (I'm not sure how many I have had). Thank you for making Megan Berry a Zombie Settler.





p.s. In the time it took to make this blog I have inspired the whole class to google themselves. Best day ever .

Ohhh what up death clock

So I have this issue with clocks. I mean regular clocks, they seem to NEVER be on time for me. The clock in my room for example, is exactly 11 minutes and 18 seconds fast. The one in my car, 2 minutes and an unknown amount of seconds. My phone, well I guess its right, that's what im basing the wrongs times off of.  But what about the good clocks. The ones that are precise, always accurate, and most importantly are a countdown to something BIG. Say like a christmas countdown clock, or even better a death clock.

http://www.xmasclock.com/
This is the world's GREATEST clock. I mean who doesn't want to know when Christmas is. I certainly know I do. And the best part, if you know another important date, you can simply add or subtract the number of days and still know the hours, minutes, and seconds till that very moment. Genius. Currently, it would be 16 days, 5 hours, 31 minutes, and 47 seconds.

http://www.deathclock.com/
The death clock, the world's darkest clock. Now, this clock allows you to put in your birthdate, your gender, if you are pessimistic, optomistic, ya know the whole deal, then you put your BMI and finally if you are a smoker, and TADA it gives you the day of the week, month, date, year you will die. And of course, the number of seconds you have left until you die. Now I found this, not really quite sure how. But, it seemed interesting so I did it. The first time, I was told that I would die Tuesday, June 13, 2051. When I tried it again, I was met with Wednesday, September 29, 2072. And because the third times the charm, I tried yet again and was greated, not so nicely with a mere Friday, July 6, 2057. Needless to say, this death clock may not be the most accurate thing. Nonetheless, it is quite fun to play with and see how many seconds there are to random dates in the far future.

My Dad wants to go back to College...

So the other day, my Dad tells us that he has decided that he is going back to college. He is either going to pursue a better degree in statistics OR he wants to be a truck driver. Now, needless to say he was joking but that is completely beside the point, and so I'm going to ignore that fact and go on with my blogging pretending that he was completely serious. So, personal opinion. If he were going to be a stat whatever they are, that would just be boring. I mean really who wants to sit around doing math all day?! Math sucks, and I'm allowed to say that, because I'm in AP Calc and it sucks. So that is just boring. I googled it, but I couldn't find any statistic jobs other than a Statistician. That sounds gross and it looks gross and it is reeeally hard to spell. So I think that he shouldn't do that one cause I really don't like it and I wouldn't be able to tell people what it was because I don't think that I would be able to say it. I think that it would be supa cool if John (aka my dad) went back to school to be a truck driver. I'm not actually sure if they teach you how to be a truck driver in college, because I don't actually think that you need a college education for that, but if we're still playing pretendsies then we'll say that you can.

If John were to be a truck driver, I think that he should be a truck driver on a TV show, like my friends on the show "Ice Road Truckers" (it's on history channel but don't make fun of me because its really cool I promise - http://www.history.com/shows/ice-road-truckers) The Ice Road Truckers (Lisa, Hugh, Alex, Jack, Greg, and Ray) have to drive huge 18-wheelers in Alaska. Its crazy ridiculous, and I heard from a little birdy "Oh Lisa, always getting in trouble." This show is suspenseful and exciting and I love it - I've only seen it once in my life- but if my dad were on that show I would watch it all the time because that would be so cool.

(In reality, my Dad is not even going back to school, and I am not actually sure where he got these crazy ideas from. Also, I don't think that it would be very cool for him to be a truck driver because scary things happen to them, but I won't spoil "Ice Road Truckers" for you, so you'll just have to watch it to find out. Also, I do think that the statistics job is boring and kinda weird. No offense to all of you that have that job)

Mangroomers.

Mangroomer at its finest. Mmmmmmm.



Now, this is really sick. Yeah I understand that.But this was what I came home to one day. I walk in after a long days of work, and my mom shoves a Bed, Bath & Beyond magazine in my face and asks me if I notice anything weird on the page. Out of a whole page it is really hard to find the one weird thing when the whole page is weird things. But I found the mangroomer, and this was the picture that went with it. So I decided to search mangroomer on the Bed, Bath, & Beyond website because I wanted to get this picture so that I could blog about how disgusting that is, but instead I found just pictures of mangroomers by themselves with blog worthy captions.

Mangroomer - Rechargeable Electric Back Hair Shaver

This would be the Mangroomer Nose and Ear Hair Trimmer Edition

And last but certainly not least, would be the Mangroomer Private Body Shaver

Some things as blog-worthy as they may be, I could live without knowing. Mangroomer, I do not like your products.

Christmas Carols

 

So today we had a reading day in English. As fun as reading sounds, I decided against this and figured that walking to my locker, having a bathroom pit stop and going to play bookworm (http://www.popcap.com/games/free/bookworm) would be my best options. So a friend of mine and I go down to the bathroom, and I walk in and see three middle school girls standing there. They were awkward and one girl stared at me, just sat there and stared and then smiled a braces filled smile. Then the three girls broke out in song, they were singing "The Twelve Days of Christmas" except they were mixing up all the numbers and objects. So there are three singing girls, and then one girl runs out of a stall and begins singing with them, and then another, and then another. And finally, there were like 15 singing middle school girls screwing up "The Twelve Days of Christmas". I stood there unsure of what to do. So I go on, and my friend was like "Uh, I think I'm going to go to my locker", so finally I walk back out, and another girl walks out, and my friend comes back in, and then the 15 singing girls all run out of the bathroom in a clump still singing. The three older, wiser remaining girls stood there unsure what to do. I couldn't even laugh. I was stunned.

Needless to say, that was a weird experience. I mean I understand that some people sing in the shower. I'm not one of those people, but I understand that other people do that. But singing in a public restroom in a large clump, and MESSING up the song. unacceptable little children.

theres a morgue in my pool

My boyfriend blogs about spiders. He's blogged about shower spiders and desk spiders and foreign spiders and I figured what better way to show relationship type things like love and commitment, then to continue the blogging tradition of blogging about spiders.

Large spider #1.. and little spider remenants

Large Spider #2 and dirt..

Large spider #3

Large Spider #4.. on the stairs mmm

Bundles of spiders at the edge of the stairs



I just don't understand the spiders's logic. Maybe those are the clumsy spiders of the bunch. Who knows, maybe their like people. The moms say "Now don't you play by the edge of that, I don't want to have to come in and get you." and then the little baby spiders giggle and do it anyway. Except these dumb spiders actually fall in, and then the mommy spiders have to go in after them. Poor dumb spider clusters didn't know that the pool was really cold though, and so then I bet their little spider muscles all froze up, and then the Daddy spiders had to come in after the Mommy's and the babies except by this point it was too late and then they all drown and died and created a little spider morgue in my pool. Lucky for them, they got vacumned up and taken to spider heaven aka wherever the vacumn takes them. RIP little spiders, poor little dead guys.

FAVORITE QUOTES

Today in class, Mrs. Weekman made a funny : "whoever makes shoe boxes is making caskets for small animals".. Now this is morbid and gross and weird. But actually really true. What do you do if a small animal dies? Bury it in a shoebox. Unless of course it is a small amphibian and then you just flush it down the toilet or toss it out the window or something.

That is a dead guinea pig. Now, what do you do with a dead guinea pig? Put it in a....

What looks more like a coffin than a shoebox?! So put that little dead bugger in the shoebox & bury him. Say a little prayer, and then let the little guy go.

Thanks Mrs. Weekman for giving me morbid thoughts.

disaster date

If I were going to be on the show Disaster Date on MTV, I would have a lot of fun. First off, if someone were ever that rude to me in my life I would just be rude back. I think that they probably tell the person being pranked, that they are being pranked. So if that were the case, then I would simply prank back. If my date were rude to someone, I would be too. If my date made a ruckus, I would too. If my date and I were at lunch and they were being an awful date, I would drop my fork on the ground and when they went to pick it up, I would "accidentally" knock over my water cup so that it spilled on their head. I would stand up on the table and begin yodeling. We could have a food fight in a nice restaurant, or act uppity in a trashy restaurant. I would stick things to my teeth, and act like a wild women. Disaster Date.. you can't fool me.

Birthday Blunders

My life has been a big ball of birthday blunders. Actually holiday blunders in general, but mostly birthday.

1997 - 5 years old, Christmas Eve : My dad was laying on the ground in my room, I was sitting on his stomach, and I was very concerned. Now know this, as a 5 year old, I was a very inquisitive child, I wanted to know everything. So when I asked questions, I expected complete honesty. Now, parents know this - some questions are not meant to be answered honestly. So I looked at my father, and I asked him, "Dad, is Santa Claus real?" And he answered me... NO. My life was officially ruined at the tender age of FIVE. I mean come on, I was five years old, I had hopes and dreams that all revolved around the idea of Santa Claus. Really dad? I was the kid who wrote my christmas list in JUNE. My birthday is the LAST day of June, but Christmas was more important to me. I had to let Santa know that I was about to be another year older, but still just as good, and I wanted to get that new American Girl Doll for Christmas. I was a planner and I was extatic about Christmas, but lemme just tell you, Christmas is kind of a buzz kill when it comes and goes without any fun, no cookies eaten by Santa Claus, or carrots eaten by the reindeer, because THERE IS NO SANTA CLAUS.  WAY TO RUIN MY LIFE DAD [LOVE YOU :)]

2002 - 10 years old, Birthday : I was sick and tired of getting underwear and socks for my birthday. I mean socks are great right, but UNDERWEAR?! No ten year old wants to get underwear for their birthday, I mean a new bike, or a cool cd player, or something, but underwear?! Not okay. So I make ONE request, I mean I am about to age out of my single digit years, be a big two-digit girl ya know? I should get what I want right, I mean this is the biggest birthday of my young life, so all I ask is not to get underwear on my birthday. Simple request, any loving kind parent who cares about the well-being of their child would listen, and make sure to not get their child underwear for their birthday. Not my parents. It doesn't matter if my self-esteem and self-worth was shot at close range, or
 concept of unconditional love, crushed under a foot a million times bigger than a wolly mammoth, no big. I got underwear, and underwear, and more underwear, and even more underwear. I had so much underwear I could have gone 5 years without repeating a pair, because I had hundreds. I would get a purse as a presant, open it only to find it full of underwear. Jeans, no big deal, the pockets would have underwear stuffed in them. Everyone we knew gave me underwear for my birthday. I was crushed, I was upset and broken, and had no idea what to do with my life. Now, 8 years later, I see this as a joke, I understand how it was funny, but that will never take away from the torture I went through, the agony I suffered through, the year I got underwear for my birthday.

2009 - 16 years old, Birthday(s)- I was extatic. I was FINALLY sixteen years old, the day I had been waiting for anxiously since I was like 12. So during the summer we have kids that stay with us from Belarus, and I absolutely love them to death. BUT, on MY birthday, my sweet sixteen, there was the annual kids birthday party at the Angus Barn. This is great right, I mean technically I get to celebrate my birthday at the Angus Barn too, but my sweet sixteen is suddenly turned into 22 Belarussian childrens birthday too?! So I do my best to enjoy it, really I did. But it just wasn't happening for me. I couldn't go shopping like I do every birthday, I didn't have anything the way it always was because we were at Angus Barn for HOURS celebrating everyones birthday ignoring the fact that it was actually MY birthday. Yeah, I know this sounds selfish, I get it now since I'm so much older and wiser and everything.. But really, I do get that it seems selfish but it was my sweet sixteen for heavens sake. Since I was just so excited to be sixteen, I had invited over a bunch of the families to come and swim in the pool and celebrate with us weeks in advance. But, after this wearing day, of sitting and watching everyone else turn a year older and wiser and celebrate their birthdays, I honestly just wanted to be alone with my family and mourn the loss of what was supposed to be a wonderful day. But I didn't even get the pleasure of being depressed on my birthday, because we had 13 other people to entertain. I refused to swim with the other kids, I sat inside and pouted like a spoiled little birthday princess. The sad thing was, I really wasn't the spoiled little princess that day. My sixteenth birthday was so horrible, and I was so miserable that I did not even want to open my presents. I simply went to bed, deflated and depressed. Lucky for me, my family loves me and so we celebrated four days later, my "sweet sixteen". They decorated my room, got my favorite candy, had my boyfriend surprise me, the whole nine yards. Lucky for me, my horrible day was revisited and much better the second time.

2010 - 17 years old, Birthday: I have an issue with birthdays. By this point in time, I have competely given up on ever hoping for a normal wonderful birthday celebration. I have accepted that it is never going to happen, and no matter how detailed of a plan I make, something will always make sure that it does not happen. This year, I was in Belarus until June 15th, that left 15 days for my family to help me plan and perfect my birthday, right? Not so much. I had surgery the 23rd, and so we just put off the whole birthday discussion, I guess they had figured that if they didn't ask, and I didn't bring it up, we could pretty much put it off, because my birthday -which would happen exactly a week after my surgery- could easily come and go without any notice becasue I would be so highly drugged off of my pain medicine. Well lucky for them, I kind of did forget about it, I mean I had a lot on my mind, I was just gone in Belarus for two weeks, I had to catch up with friends, I had to do all the last minute crazy things I had to get done before my monster sling would restrict the rest of my summer, truly the last thing on my mind was my 17th birthday. So my surgery comes and goes, and finally I realize that my birthday was in the next few days. So I begin planning, I didn't know what I wanted, or really what I wanted to do (I was still having trouble thinking on my own), I knew what I wanted for dinner, I was informed that we would go see twilight, but other than that there was no plan. It's really hard to mess up, when there is no plan, but of course it still managed to happen. 1. I ordered my own cake, you know you're growing up when that happens. 2. We go to the movie, I took one of my best friends with me, but we had to bring her back home because her sister and I have the same birthday. 3. Everyone was too busy to come and see me. 4. My shoulder was killing me. and best of all, my FAVORITE birthday memory by far, 5. I got NO presents. Not only that, I got no cards, nothing. If there was ever a fail of a birthday, this one was definately it. May I just say, that even still today, November 11, 2010, ONE HUNDRED AND THIRTY FOUR DAYS LATER, I still have not gotten a card, not even from my family. YAYYYYYYY BIRTHDAYS.

Bestfriends Birthday :)

Today is my BESTFRIENDS birthday. She is 16 and I am going to write everything about her. I met my bestie Olivia at drivers ed at wakefield. She was a little youngin still, and I had just turned 16 which is funny because today, she is16. So anyway, I was switching schools, and she went where I was switching and so we became besties. Since then, we tell each other everything. She is my best friend in the whole wide world and she deserves the bet night ever because she is AMAZING. We are best friends who love love, and I don't know what I am supposed to do without her next year. She has the best impressions in the world, and we watch disney together, and football together, and she lives with me sometimes, and our moms talk on the phone and she is just so cool.


LIVS I LOVE YOU AND HAVE THE BEST BIRTHDAY EVER K?

those in need

So, on Saturday night I get this text from a friend. She tells me that she just helped a person, because she gave a homeless man her Panera. So this has got me thinking, I wonder where the homeless get their cardboard and sharpies from. Now, you may be thinking that I am some horrible person for saying this, but you know that deep down you wonder this too. I admire homeless people, not all are homeless and so those I don't admire because that is stealing and lying, and quit frankly like a slap in the face to real homeless people. But, those who are homeless for real, I do admire; for instance they are patient, i mean they stand outside all day holding their little signs asking the same question over and over, they seem to function on a schedule, you know a 9-5 type deal (if you don't believe me, start watching, I'm right). But, again not the point. I do admire them a lot, but one of the main reasons that I admire homeless people so much is for their ability to find cardboard and sharpies, some are more able than others, I mean honestly, the signs that have every color of the rainbow, how cool is that. I am not in any way mocking homeless people, this is truly a thought that crosses my mind every time I see a homeless person, I wonder, where do they get their cardboard and sharpies?!


Aside: Andrew Hill is such a good person that he would always help homeless people, because that is what good people do. (This is your shout-out)

facebook in jail?

So I have a friend,we'll call her Bailey, but if you want the names JJ and Harvard could work too. Anyway, so this summer with Bailey and her sister and a guy friend of ours, we go to cookout and meet this guy. He was a little sketch, we'll call him Derrick. So Derrick proceeds to ask for all of our numbers, yeah even the guy friends. So Bailey gives him it, and starts getting random texts and calls to hang out with him. Now let me expain, from the start I have a really bad feeling about him, there was this smile, and these eyes, and they just made me shudder, but it's okay we can all just ignore the bad feelings, because bad feelings are never right. So she tries to set him up with our friend Charlotte, and they are supposed to all go to the pool together one day, but it never happens. So, school starts back up, and Derrick is long forgotten about. However, one day Bailey comes up to me FREAKING out, and telling me how she has been told by a nameless soul from school, that Derrick is in fact in jail for sexual assault of many many people, 14 year old girls, little boys and girls, creepy right? So anyway, after a while, we all forget about this sketchy little event, until Bailey gets a message from Derrick who is supposed to be in JAIL. How the heck does this happen?! So then she is convinced that he must be on the loose right, because he is 19, and in jail, for a crime, and he is ON FACEBOOK?!? So then, we have this other friend. Im running low on creative names, but anyway, AC tells us that in fact there is such thing as facebook in jail because Lil' Wayne had facebook in jail. Now, I'm not sure this is true, hopefully it is or we may need to be a little worried about things like criminals on the loose on facebook. So, there may be facebook in jail, I'm not really sure, personally we're thinking that AC may be wrong, but for the sake of Bailey, pleeeease let there be facebook in jail.

SHOUT - OUT TO MY FOREIGN FRIENDS

The title of this is not meant to be offensive- this is simply referring to any one who has read this that doesn't live in the US. Thanks

You deserve special recognition. I'm not quite sure how you stumbled upon my blog exactly, as you can see I have like 231 views.. not so many right? But in those views, I somehow am representing the countries of the United States, the United Kingdom, Canada, Japan, and Latvia. Yeah, that's right Latvia. Personally, I think that's really cool. I mean this isn't even that great of writing, I just put what I'm thinking down (stream of consciousness type deal) But somehow, I now have more countries represented than my boyfriends blog, and since I think its really cool, this is my request for those of you in other countries. Have your friends look at my blog, maybe you think what I wrote is stupid, so you can make fun of it together, whatever you want to do with it. But I think it'd be really cool to have a ton of views from a ton of countries, so if you (my foreign friends) have other foreign friends (aka friends that are foreign from your country) tell them about my blog so that I can get tons of countries, k?

 

Hurricanes

Most people don't really like hurricanes. Im not really sure why. I mean, I think as long as no damage (at least nothing major) is done, then I don't know why people would not like hurricanes.

Reasons why I like hurricanes:
1. You get in pjs & hold candles and flashlights and watch the storm and its really fun
2. It rains and everything is windy
3. You can act like a child and hide in the bathtub and no one will judge you
4. After storms, you get to be neighborly and help clean up and you are a good Samaritan and even the old people are nice to you
5. The eye is quiet and peaceful and calm and amazing
6. After the wind knocks the trees over one way, the eye comes, and then the winds blow the other way so the trees stand back up again
7. Theres no electricity usually so you feel like your living in "Little House on the Prairie" except in a big house in the suburbs

Dear Weather,
I enjoy hurricanes, and if we could have a gentle one with lots of wind and rain and a HUGE eye, but that does minimal damage, I would really appreciate that.
Thanks,
Megan

This morning (friday morning actually)

This morning, I woke up after 1 hour of sleep and got ready really fast and left late.. so I stop for breakfast, and come to school. However, my mass amount of tired-ness was prevailing me and so I ended up being confused and without patience. I had to study for my ap euro test, so I decided to leave my seat and go sit in the corner to study. Worst decision of my life. I sit down, only to find that the carpet where I was sitting consisted of two different height.s It was as if someone had cut out a huge rectangle of carpet and then glued it back down, but not completely because the corners were still flapping up. Not only was this an issue, but the side that I was sitting on had the carpet overlapped. Now I have an issues with this, maybe just because I am reeeeally tired and ADD and OCD but that little carpet needs to be fixed because it was the crisis of my morning and ruined my whole entire day.

popcorn.

So I'm a little bit upset, see it's 11:16 at night. I am hungry. I have a lot of homework. I have euro, and 4600 more words to write for my creative writing story. 400 words is not good progress. The probem here, is that at 11:16 at night, when I am hungry and have hours ahead of me, I need something good to eat. Which one would think is something simple to find. However, what I really want is some popcorn. And I had some, in a box, in the pantry, but when I went to find it, the box was there, the popcorn was not. Now I am really mad, because it isno 11:38, and I just did something else, and now I'm even more hungry and all I want is my popcorn back and I am angry with whoever ate it! That is all I have to say.

so my mom said i could blog about how nasty dinner was... as long as i ate it.

I had the choice of eating stew or salmon and cous-cous for dinner. I picked stew. One might say bad choice; there was no good choice. Sorry mom.

My dinner was fun All I did was take pictures of how gross everything looked and then I stole my dads plate of dinner and ate that instead. I took too many pictures and it took me an hour to eat dinner:

Indian Stew

so appetizing..

again, just delicious looking right? ps. that green-ish looking stuff, not peppers, or chives, or whatever is put in chicken quesadillas-- thats LEAVES like full leaves of spinich. mmmmmmmm

Torie. She reeeally wanted to eat some dinner.

Phelps turning his nose away from the dinner



Option number two: salmon..



..with asparagus. gag me.

Rice with stew..

or cous-cous with salmon.. Option sounded worlds better

Stew.. just look at that juice, and chicken, and tomatoes, and chickpeas, and leaves.. yumm

Strawberries

Torie really wanted the asparagus

She wanted it REAL bad

cold weather.

I googled cold weather, because its starting to get cold outside finally and I am really excited. Cold weather is fun, because we get like 1/10000000000000000000000000000000 of an inch of snow and even less ice and school is canceled for like a week. It's super sweet. So I googled cold weather, because cold weather is fun except I got pictures that are kind of interesting and different, and I didn't know what to think about them, so I copied them so that everyone can see what cold weather images are.

Cold weather?

Kayaking..

I don't know what a jumper is. A snow suit maybe?

This is gross. It's a python eating a deer, but thats just nasty and I don't actually know what it has to do with cold weather. But it came up when I googled cold weather, so I'm using it cause its a little strange.

I don't particularly like cats, but this one is cute, probably cause its just in the computer and not near me.

whales are sketch.

According to my creative writing teacher :

"What is more sketchy than whales? Whale are sketch" 

So I'm going to blog about whales. I thought that whales were pretty cool. Free Willy.. yeah thats the coolest thing in the entire world. I don't know what is sketch about whales. They're killers and huge and black and white and pretty looking and I would like to pet a whale. Yeah, that's weird I know.

There are lots of different kinds of whales:

Whales can be beached. Then people save them. That would be a really cool job, not even joking.

Whales have easy parts to remember:

Whales are cute. I don't know how they could be sketch, sorry Mrs. Weekman

SMILING WHALE WITH BABY! :)

ATTENTION FACEBOOK USERS:

Don't do this if you are on facebook. It's really annoying and it is my pet peeve.


DON'T PUT STUPID CAPTIONS THAT ARE OBVIOUS ON PICTURES

Example: 

My jeep with mud on it. 

Okay, this is obviously your jeep with mud on it. (PS. this is a random picture I found on google after searching mud on jeep -- don't get offended) But when people do this on facebook that is so annoying. Like anyone can look at a picture and know what it is without you saying what it is. I can tell that the picture is a jeep with mud on it without someone telling me that there is a jeep with mud on it. That really bothers me -- there is no point to waste your time to put a stupid obvious caption on a picture. A picture of the beach does NOT need a caption that says beach, thank you for your concern but I think we ALL know that it is a beach.

So facebook users, please refrain from demeaning captions that portray your stalking friends as idiots; we are able to figure out what pictures are without your help. Thank you.

skittles.

Last night, I go to enjoy some skittles, you know taste the rainbow. Except, I didn't get to taste the rainbow, because I open up that stupid little pack of skittles, and what do I get? ALL RED EXCEPT TWO PURPLE. I absolutely despise red and purple skittles, I used to eat every color except them because they are nasty. I hate those ones, but I was so mad that I ate them anyway. I was really looking forward to the heavenly yellow and green and orange skittles, but no the stupid skittles fun pack ruined my LIFE last night. I was distraught, all I wanted was to enjoy a delectable packet of skittles in the flavors and colors I love but that could not happen. So now I am going to call skittles, and complain, and get a stupid coupon to go a buy a new fun pack of skittles so that I can eat the colors I enjoy. Thanks skittles for ruining my life.

dream

Last night I had a dream, but before you move on and decide against reading this because the apparent stupidity of that first statement, let me begin by saying this was no ordinary dream, nor an ordinary night.

I went to bed around 12:15. You may say that's late, or in the case of the Weekman's (minus the youngest), that is actually pretty early. I can't really tell you about my dreams up until right before 4:12 am : I walked into school, it was spirit week, I was dressed up for fashion disaster day (today) and everything went as normal except I get to school, and Andrew Hill just stared at me, and so I felt self-conscious and woke up. Like a real wake-up, kind of wake-up. Mind you, it is now 4:12 am and I'm awake. But I had dreamed the whole school day so I was confused.I thought it was time for me to get ready for school, except the small problem that it was 4:12 am, not 5:45 am. So I began to check all electronics in my room, only to find that now, instead of begin 5:45 am, or even 4:12 am, it was 4:13. So I got up and went downstairs, sure that I would find it to be 5:45 or maybe 5:13 or something after 5. But it wasn't and so I went back to bed, sad and defeated. Finally after trying, and wishing, and praying that I could just go back to sleep and make it to 5:45. I finally fell asleep. Yet, what I discovered in my dream world was no better than in reality. My mom, dad, and I were on vacation (guilty pleasure: being an "only child" when all my siblings are gone), but I don't really know where we were. I know my dad was there, but I can't remember seeing him, all I remember is my mom and I floating in the ocean of lake or something. There was a little pool-float kind of fishing boat chilling out by us.All of a sudden a blue, bigger boat pulled up, in between the size of a dingy and a tiny yacht. It was a boat of drug cartels, and they began dragging around the little purple boat which had some how turned into a tube and was partially under water. My mom and I just sat there and stared, not fazed at all. Then a big white yacht the shape of a shoebox pulled up next to the drug cartel boat, and grabbed the driver by his ear, and the boat by the front and took it away, leaving the little purple boat behind, all of its passengers happy not to be drowning anymore. Still, my mom and I sat there unfazed by the shocking situation that had just occurred. All of a sudden (I transported?) I was in my bathroom, and I was reaching for a towel except it turned into a rattlesnake which is one of my biggest fears and so I went to get my dad, and he said it was just the towel and I didn't know what I was talking about but it was a rattlesnake and then he left me with it, so I woke up for real to get away from it and then I was scared to get a towel, except it was now time to actually wake up for school. I was terrified after a traumatizing night, and I was very tired and restless, as my dreams and sleeping problems did not work out very well together.

last night.

Last night, Andrew came to my house. During ecology, his mom had texted him and said "breakfast for dinner at church, wanna come" and I did want to go, because I like breakfast for dinner, or, brinner. But Andrew decided that because I'm a really picky eater, I wouldn't like it, so instead he decided he was going to come over and cook breakfast for dinner for me. So Andrew came over, except he forgot the recipe. So I took my brother to small group, and then Andrew to his house and then we got the recipe. Except I had a really bad headache when I got to his house, and I had to take a lot of excedrin. But that didn't help, and so once we got home, I went to sleep on the couch and Andrew cooked muffins and cleaned up and it was really good and it was the best dinner in the whole wide world because he's sweet and let me sleep while he cooked. That is all.

Mayans

The Mayans predicted that the world will end on December 21, 2012. I think that the Mayans were dumb. But I think that Yahoo is even dumber. They wrote an article that said that the Mayans might be wrong. surprise. Of course the Mayans might be wrong, there is no way to scientifically tell when the world is going to end and just because some calender doesn't go past 2012, that doesn't mean that the world is going to end. Personally, I'd like to at least make it past Christmas. But anyway, the Yahoo article said that the Mayans might be wrong, and if they are then we do not know when the world is going to end.

 Yahoo: thank you for your wisdom.

Jack-o-lanterns

This weekend Andrew, and Olivia, and her Andrew, and I are going to make jack-o-lanterns. We have a huge pumpkin at my house, and we're going to make a crazy face on it. We're probably going to have to go get another pumpkin so that Suri and Olivia can do one too, but it won't matter, because mine and Andrew's will be the best one. We can put lots of different kinds of faces on our jack-o-lantern: cat face, clown face, cool guy face, dead guy face, dragon face, girl face, Frankenstein face, happy face, jagged face, boy face, pig face, or skeleton face. We're putting an awesome face on our jack-o-lantern. And that is so much cooler than any kind of face. Beat that stupid pumpkin carving websites.

Dinner.

Andrew and I went to dinner last night. He had to babysit for friends of their families for an hour, and so I get all the way to his house, and then he tells me that he has to be there for 15 more minutes. So I hung out with Andrews parents. It was cool. So finally Andrew gets home, and we drive all the way to Olive Garden, and get out of the car, and decide that we don't want Olive Garden so we went to Macaroni Grill so we could draw on the tables.

We drew a story:

Once upon a time, there was a little village full of alpacas, and pterodactyls, and  wombats. A King Green Giraffe ruled over the village. But the King was a coward. There also lived a friendly Green Dragon, yet he became tired of the King being such a coward and never protecting his village. So he devised a plan and ransacked the village. He stepped on the clay huts where the alpacas live, and the clay huts where the wombats live, and the metal cages where the pterodactyls live. He even stepped on his bungalow. A turtle got broken in half, and ladybugs were smushed in his rage. But the cowardly King, just hid is his tree castle, surrounded by his fire moat and fiery waterfall. So the dragon shot a fireball at the castle, and the cowardly King died. The Dragon, was exiled, and then a wombat became a courageous King, living in a palace made of the old King's bones. The end.

middle school girls soccer games.

Middle school soccer games are painful. Middle school girls do not know how to play soccer. They move around in little clumps and kick each other in the shins. I went to my little sisters soccer game today. That was especially painful. She played for like 5 minutes and did good and it was really cold and her team was not very good. Andrew coached my sister this summer, and he did a good job because she made it onto her middle school team, but her whole team is bad and could use some more coaching. They all ran around and the poor ref didnt make any calls and I don't blame him because I would want to get away from the screaming little girls as fast as I could too. When I was watching her soccer game, I heard birds in the trees which made me mad. And we haven't learned that bird call yet. That is a fun sucker. That means I still have to learn that bird. I hate birds. I wish there was a menace that ate birds and then they couldnt haunt me while I am slowly dying from my eyes being burned out at how bad little ligon girls are at soccer. They won like 8-0 though, so your imagination can only run wild at picturing how bad the other team was.

bird calls

I picture two things that I can think of at this moment, very pointless things to do.

1. memorize the books of the bible in order
2. BIRD CALLS.

The bible, why would they put the glossary in the front of the bible if you weren't supposed to use it? Does it make you a better Christian to have it memorized? Becasue personally I think I'm doing just fine without it. I think that bible teachers don't have enough to teach us, and so to meet the quota for test grades in the quarter, they throw in the books of the bible test, because its not as if we don't have a thousand other things to do, so why not throw in some pointless memorizing. bad idea bible teachers. that has no benefit in my life. that is a waste of brain space, I can read the glossary just fine. (my preacher even tells us the page in the church bibles - why memorize if you can have that?)

BIRD CALLS. I hate bird calls. I made my status on facebook tonight "I HATE BIRD CALLS" and 13 people liked it. I wonder if that is enough of a statistic to show Mr. Mack so that we don't have to take the test. My mom said that was stupid. I agree with her. I hate birds too. The purpose of cats is to eat the birds. But since I had cats, then I would be stuck with a lot of birds. The wildlife rescue people that come to get bears and hyenas or foxes or whatever that attack peoples houses, should also pick up cats and birds, cause I bet that a lot of cats are rabid, and birds are just annoying. Especially they're calls. And whats even more annoying then hearing their calls when they are in a tree, is having to memorize their calls from my kitchen table. No one even likes birds, they have no purpose to live so they just shouldn't. Maybe I'm just cynical, thats what happens when its late. But if I didn't have a stupid test on TEN bird calls tmrw, maybe I would be a little nicer to animals, or at least pretend like I like them. But I won't even give them that satisfaction, because Mr. Mack is ruining my life with birdcalls and causing me to hate all wildlife. I think our class should get a grade for our camping trip, because that is not pointles, and that will be fun learning, and maybe I'll even like wildlife a little. But bird calls are not helping natures cause.

That is all I have to say.

post #2

It is now 12:46 in the morning. I am sitting awake doing absolutely nothing. There is purpose to this - I am SUPPOSED to be doing something, however all I can manage, is nothing. I have successfully sat in front of the computer screen all night. I am trying to do my english project which I see as pointless. I don't understand why teachers give us pointless work if they aren't going to read it, but give us a hundred anyway. Mr. Walker is not going to read this project, all he wants to know is if we did the 15 pages of crap. I am on page 3, I have been working for lik 6 hours. I think this is why my parents say don't get on facebook while you're doing your homework. I have successfully wasted a whole night, except the worst part is that I have 12 more to do, and I have to turn them in tomorrow. I have like 6 hours to finish them, before I get to go to the lovely creative writing class very tired. I may give up and turn them in on wednesday because this is simply becoming a waste of my time.

post #1? #21?

I'm not exactly sure what number this blog is supposed to be, but its going on 2nd quarter because I feel like blogging right now and I am counting on it being part of my grade. I honestly can't remember what I was going to blog about? Creative writing maybe? Or formspring maybe? Im not really sure and now im really tired. I have to start my creative writing paper right now, which was obviously supposed to be started on tuesday, and its now thursday night and its due tmrw and im starting it.. sweet. but its okay because I didn't feel like doing it any other day. Yay creative writing!

sick

I don't understand why people don't just leave other people alone when they are sick.When you're sick, you don't feel good, and you don't have much patience. You are not up for people sitting and telling you what to do because that is annoying. I hate people telling me to be more patient, or drink water, or eat soup, or take medicine, or do my homework so I can get to sleep when im sick, because that is annoying. I am sick and I just want people to leave me alone, and my boyfriends parents to let him come visit me so I can have normal soup instead of the nasty chicken and rice soup my mom just made for me.

cold medicines

Cold medicines are really gross. I made a list of reasons and medicines that are gross:

1. Liquid Cold Medicine- this stuff is sick. they don't have any flavors that taste good, they have cherry and grape, and citrus. cherry makes people want to barf, grape is just gross, and citrus burns your throat and has a bad after taste.

2. Chewable Cold Medicine- this is the kind that people say tastses like a starburst,except it doesn't it tastes like crappy cherry or grape or citrus. if your lucky, you get crappy bubblegum.

3. Meltable Zicam- this is the best kind of cold medicine ever, probably just because it works really well and goes away fast and doesn't taste awful. the citrus is awful, but cherry is good because it only tastes bad in the middle, and it doesnt have that bad of an after taste.

WHAT TO DO IF YOU'RE SICK:

ew, go home. go sleep until your better, noone wants to be around you if your sick. who cares if it takes 10 years, don't come back till you are healthy...

buuuuttttt...

if you have normal parents like most of us, that may not work. so.. WHAT TO DO IF YOU'RE SICK

step 1: go to school, try not to touch people, or share weird things like pencils or textbooks, no one uses those at school anyways

step 2: if you have a practice after school, skip it. as much as you think people like you (face it, there ARE people who probably don't) they'll hate you once you get them sick

step 3: GO HOME

step 4: get in bed, put on your embarrasing pjs and slippers, people won't see them

step 5: soup and tea are about to become your best friends, so if you don't like them, too bad, drink them anyway. (grandmas right -- chicken noodle soup is like God)

step 6: you are probably going to get sicker before you get better   -- the whole dark before the light thing-- so suck it up, take lots of medicine, and sleep. come to school ONLY if your better.


so please, save everyone the pain of hearing you complaing about being sick. you can always just sleep till you're better and keep everyone else healthy.

aladdin

Today, Thursday, September 30, 2010, we must say goodbye to a dear pet frog, Aladdin…

Okay, I hated that stupid frog. Actually, I didn’t mind it until this morning when I woke up and that stupid frog was dead. And that may sound hateful and all, but that dumb animal deserves it. Andrew and I bought it in August, lovingly cared for it, feeding it every few days, never cleaned its cage, you know good parenting. So finally, I decide that I’ll clean that nasty animals cage without Andrew, because it was so dirty and I didn’t feel like doing homework. So, I spend an HOUR cleaning its cage, a whole hour wasted of my night, because I wake up the next morning and that inconsiderate animal was dead. So, to be perfectly honest, I am very angry with that dumb animal for dying, and I wish it had just died last night, before I wasted my time on it. Andrews response, “Okay, can we get a shark?”.

senioritis

I just want this year to be over and to go to JMU for college, because the campus was the prettiest thing I have ever seen in my life. JMU had a gorgeous campus, and normal school colors, that actually match and not just because they were forced together. VT has ugly school colors, orange and maroon, which are ugly anyway, but when they are forced together then they are even uglier. Purple and orange are both remotely attractive colors, and when they are together, they are so cute. And who wouldn’t want to be a JMU Duke? Lydia and I are going to JMU together, and we’re going to be suite mates, and decorate our room all cute, and we are so excited for it. We already planned everything, and now this year just needs to be over so that we can go and fulfill our destiny.

virginia college tours :)



At “The Home Place” with my parents, a small restaurant run out of a home near Blacksburg, VA. They have a set menu, and you can choose sides to go along with it, so you are able to be served your food in a matter of minutes. You continue to be served until you are full, and you aren’t charged for extras, unless you get them to box up and take home. It was a better southern meal, then I have ever had in North Carolina.



Main building at Virginia Tech. The weather was absolutely spectacular, we actually had to change when we got back to the hotel into jeans from shorts, because it was too cool to be wearing shorts, and just right with jeans on. The campus was GORGEOUS, and all the building are covered with “hokie stone” just like this one.

Hiking trails ending with a water fall!



Back on the hiking trails! This is a popular place for VT students to go, and it was absolutely gorgeous.



Waterfall!

Waterfall!