I asked God for a bike, but I know God doesn't work that way. So I stole a bike and asked for forgiveness.
I find this one to be highly entertaining. Although it probably wouldn't work, there is very good logic behind it. I mean if you ask God for something specific and shallow, chances are you aren't just going to have it given to you. So, the logic in this witty one liner was quite good.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Again, witty. It is true that you only need a parachute to skydive if it isn't your death wish. Which would be kind of morbid. So parachutes would be appreciated.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
A huge fact of life, is people don't care about your problems. They have enough problems of their own to worry about, without having to worry about yours too. So maybe when they start laughing you should realize it is not a pity laugh, but simply a "ha you actually think I care about your problems how pathetic" kind of laugh instead.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
This girl rang me up one time, she says "come over, nobody is home", I went over, no one was home!
You are an idiot. And dirty. And guilible. HA.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
I'd have to disagree with this one. My hip bones tend to find things more often than my shins. And my toes. But, whatever part finds seems to be "it" in the stupid hide-and-seek in the dark with furniture game, never fails to bruise.
Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.
hahahahahhahahahaha. thats all i have to say.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
bahahh whoever came up with this one is a genius. that is hilarious. I have a strange sense of humor, but its still funny.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
All I have to say, is if I end up dying in this such way, lord save me and make m like the grandfather. As fun as a car crash to my death sounds, I think I'll pass on the joyous occasion.
I find this one to be highly entertaining. Although it probably wouldn't work, there is very good logic behind it. I mean if you ask God for something specific and shallow, chances are you aren't just going to have it given to you. So, the logic in this witty one liner was quite good.
You do not need a parachute to skydive. You only need a parachute to skydive twice.
Again, witty. It is true that you only need a parachute to skydive if it isn't your death wish. Which would be kind of morbid. So parachutes would be appreciated.
Laugh at your problems, everybody else does.
A huge fact of life, is people don't care about your problems. They have enough problems of their own to worry about, without having to worry about yours too. So maybe when they start laughing you should realize it is not a pity laugh, but simply a "ha you actually think I care about your problems how pathetic" kind of laugh instead.
I didn't say it was your fault, I said I was blaming you.
If winning isn't everything why do they keep score?
This girl rang me up one time, she says "come over, nobody is home", I went over, no one was home!
You are an idiot. And dirty. And guilible. HA.
The shinbone is a device for finding furniture in a dark room.
I'd have to disagree with this one. My hip bones tend to find things more often than my shins. And my toes. But, whatever part finds seems to be "it" in the stupid hide-and-seek in the dark with furniture game, never fails to bruise.
Before you insult a man, walk a mile in his shoes. That way, when you insult him, you'll be a mile away, and have his shoes.
hahahahahhahahahaha. thats all i have to say.
Last night I lay in bed looking up at the stars in the sky and I thought to myself, where the heck is the ceiling.
bahahh whoever came up with this one is a genius. that is hilarious. I have a strange sense of humor, but its still funny.
I want to die peacefully in my sleep, like my grandfather.. Not screaming and yelling like the passengers in his car.
All I have to say, is if I end up dying in this such way, lord save me and make m like the grandfather. As fun as a car crash to my death sounds, I think I'll pass on the joyous occasion.
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