twenty-eight jokes for christmas

1. Where do snowmen keep their money?
           A snowbank

2. Where does Christmas come before Easter?
          The alphabet

3. What falls often but never gets hurt?
           Snow

4. What's in December that's not in any other month? (and it's NOT Christmas)
           D

5. On what side of the house do pine trees grow best?
          Outside

6. What does a cat get when it crosses the desert?
          Sandy Claus

7. What kind of dance do snowmen go to?
           Snow Ball

8. Which burns longer, a red Christmas candle or a green Christmas candle?
           Neither, they both get shorter

9. Is it okay to write a letter to Santa on an empty stomach?
           Yeah, but you need paper

10. What smells best in the kitchen?
            Your nose

11. How do you make a reindeer float?
            Ice cream, soda, and a reindeer

12. What two things does Santa never eat for breakfast?
            Lunch and dinner

13. How many pieces of candy can you put in an empty stocking?
            One

14. What is an elf's favorite dessert?
            Shortcake

15. What most resembles half a Christmas cookie?
            The other half

16. When is a Christmas cake like a cold window pane?
            When there has been a frosting

17. What can Santa take up the chimney down but not down the chimney up?
            An umbrella

18. Why does Santa wear red mittens?
            To keep his hands warm

19. Why do reindeer fly over rooftops?
            Because they can't go under

20. What state does Santa visit that is high in the middle and round on both ends?
            Ohio

21. How is Santa's sleigh like a track team?
           They both have runners

22. What does Santa have all over his workshop?
           A roof

23. Where was Santa when his Christmas lights went out?
           In the dark

24. Why do Santa and his reindeer fly around the world on Christmas Eve?
          Because it's too far to walk

25. When does Santa finish delivering his presents?
         In the nick of time

26. What does the gingerbread boy have on his bed?
        Cookie Sheets

27. Which two letters of the alphabet does your Christmas stocking look like the day after Christmas?
         M-T

28. How does Santa Claus do his gardening?
         With a ho-ho-ho






these came from my 7th grade sister, not my fault if they're cheesy.

ps. Santa misspelled is Satan just some food for thought