aladdin

Today, Thursday, September 30, 2010, we must say goodbye to a dear pet frog, Aladdin…

Okay, I hated that stupid frog. Actually, I didn’t mind it until this morning when I woke up and that stupid frog was dead. And that may sound hateful and all, but that dumb animal deserves it. Andrew and I bought it in August, lovingly cared for it, feeding it every few days, never cleaned its cage, you know good parenting. So finally, I decide that I’ll clean that nasty animals cage without Andrew, because it was so dirty and I didn’t feel like doing homework. So, I spend an HOUR cleaning its cage, a whole hour wasted of my night, because I wake up the next morning and that inconsiderate animal was dead. So, to be perfectly honest, I am very angry with that dumb animal for dying, and I wish it had just died last night, before I wasted my time on it. Andrews response, “Okay, can we get a shark?”.

senioritis

I just want this year to be over and to go to JMU for college, because the campus was the prettiest thing I have ever seen in my life. JMU had a gorgeous campus, and normal school colors, that actually match and not just because they were forced together. VT has ugly school colors, orange and maroon, which are ugly anyway, but when they are forced together then they are even uglier. Purple and orange are both remotely attractive colors, and when they are together, they are so cute. And who wouldn’t want to be a JMU Duke? Lydia and I are going to JMU together, and we’re going to be suite mates, and decorate our room all cute, and we are so excited for it. We already planned everything, and now this year just needs to be over so that we can go and fulfill our destiny.

virginia college tours :)



At “The Home Place” with my parents, a small restaurant run out of a home near Blacksburg, VA. They have a set menu, and you can choose sides to go along with it, so you are able to be served your food in a matter of minutes. You continue to be served until you are full, and you aren’t charged for extras, unless you get them to box up and take home. It was a better southern meal, then I have ever had in North Carolina.



Main building at Virginia Tech. The weather was absolutely spectacular, we actually had to change when we got back to the hotel into jeans from shorts, because it was too cool to be wearing shorts, and just right with jeans on. The campus was GORGEOUS, and all the building are covered with “hokie stone” just like this one.

Hiking trails ending with a water fall!



Back on the hiking trails! This is a popular place for VT students to go, and it was absolutely gorgeous.



Waterfall!

Waterfall!

worst day EVER.

You know those days that are in movies, you know the ones that you laugh at people for because they go so horribly wrong, like there is absolutely nothing about them that goes right? That was my day last Thursday.

So I wake up, I’m excited right, I mean it’s a Thursday, it’s the last day of my school week. I had two days of school the week before, I had been in New York for like 5 days, I had a really stressful 3 days of school, and this was it. I had one more day, I had a calc test, but that was honestly all I was worried about. I had gone to bed the night before around 11:30, and gotten up around 4 so that I could pack for my weekend and review for the things going on during the day. So by the time I got to school, I was awake and really happy, I didn’t even need coffee. So I go to class, and then my day began. That good mood wore off really fast. I was dead. Then I realize that my dress is WAY too short for school, so I have to loose the straps so that the back is long enough, which only makes everything under it show more, great right? So then I proceed to try and read my ap euro book during creative writing, which of course was a complete fail, SO not ready for that quiz. Homeroom was homeroom. I mean honestly, what could possibly ever be good about homeroom. So then we go to ap euro, I had been all excited because we had an essay due Friday right, and I wasn’t gonna be there. Of course, just my luck though, the essay gets moved to Monday, and we’re going to discuss whats on it Friday during class, when im not there. Perfect, right? I don’t even know what this stupid essays about. And I have to write it now. Lovely. Study hall goes fine, I mean it’s a short class in silence, never fun. Bible is bible, I mean who doesn’t love the bible, but devotions that take up a class period even though no one cares about them, that makes me want to crawl in a hole and cry. And then chapel. Okay, this chapel is more entertaining than most, I mean as awful as that sounds, sitting and listening to people make speeches is a lot more exciting than the more often than not experiences of speakers who don’t know how to connect to an audience. So we get through that, and I get a brownie from one of the teachers I t.a. for, bonus. Except I didn’t feel good. So of course I end up feeling worse. Everything goes pretty much fine through lunch, I mean my mom had been sweet and asked me to go to lunch, and then canceled on me. That’s sweet and loving right? So I go to lunch, still not feeling good, and don’t really eat. Then I get to ecology, and realize number one, my dress BROKE. I don’t know how that could POSSIBLY happen, but it did. Number two, I realized I did not know my calculus. Like I knew how to do the easy problems, but the things she had sent an email about, the last minute things to learn, I couldn’t even tell you what they were called. So I start panicking, trying desperately to figure out what is on my test, which of course didn’t happen, and I gave up. I also could not figure out for the life of me how I was supposed to fix my dress. I go to calc, and the test went even more miserably than I ever had imagined. I missed one whole question, 12 points. And knowing my luck, I probably missed more than that. Just when I think my bad day is over, I get to the car, and my perfume has spilled ALL over my bag. Lovely right. Not to mention, the killer headache I had the entire day, still had not gone away. Things got better, I got to hang out with my boyfriend, and then left on my roadtrip towards uva, jmu, and vt. I had an atrocious dinner at the KFC, but other than that my bad day was over. It was just one of those days that every single thing possible goes wrong, but you are always able to look back and laugh. Personally, I like it better when those days just don’t happen.

Disclaimer: My dress is still broken, I ended up with a 93 on my math test, I lived past the KFC, my headache went away at some point, and every other stress has now long passed. Needless to say, I would have been perfectly happy without that day.

new york trip :)

Lunch in Baltimore with Chandler, Allie, Logan, and Alexa! Love these girls!



On the way home from New York, we stopped in Philadelphia to see the Liberty Bell and Independence Hall. Quite honestly, I’m not sure the logic behind this, because no one wants to see these, they are boring, and we would have much rather been home like 5 hours earlier, or, slept in a lot of hours later. But regardless, I can now say I’ve been to the Liberty Bell..



Waiting outside the Liberty Bell, and Independence Hall took forever, and it was really boring and it started out really cold outside, but then it got really hot outside. Everybody was going crazy because it was taking so long, and because we didn’t know that we were stopping for lunch, so a lot of people left their money on the bus. Andrews jacket was really warm, and Zach and I matched :)

I’ve been to New York many times before, and I’ve done the Empire State Building before, but it was still a really pretty view seeing it again, and it was a lot more fun to see it with friends. It had been really foggy and rainy the last time I had been, so it was a lot prettier on a day that you could actually see things.

with andrew at the Empire State building on a gorgeous, gorgeous day! best weather i've seen in a looonnngggg time

All dressed up to go see Phantom! I normally love Broadway plays in New York, but that was awful! They did a great job acting and all, but I’m not a big fan of musicals or opera, so it was putting me to sleep. It was fun to get all dressed up though!

At dinner in times square with my baby!

Before the boat ride tour with alexa! It was freezing outside, and the boat ride was miserable, but shopping before in China Town, and looking forward to dressing up for Phantom made everything worth it!

Favorite picture of the whole trip! Waiting for the boat ride to start!



Boyfriend in Baltimore!

Bestfriend in Baltimore! Love herrrr!

post #12

 I have some of the worlds laziest dogs. Honestly, they are ridiculous. They somehow can sleep the entire day without fail, and they don't even look cute doing it. Torie is sleeping in one of the weirdest positions I have ever seen, but she's been out like it for almost an hour now. I call Torie, "the little rat" or "pork roll", because shes short, fat, and stubby, and makes the most annoying barking sounds in the world. They are little high pitched noises, and she does them constantly, whenever she sees someone out the window, or if someone comes over, or if she feels like it. She is so obnoxious. I thought she was cute, and then I brought her to sleep in my bed. She sleeps literally in your chin, or on top of your throat, or in between your legs so you cant breath or move. That is not cute. These dogs are little demons. "Mans Best Friend", yeah right. If you cry, they come and scratch you to try and get pet, if you're in a bad mood, they whimper for my mom. They are OBSESSED with my mom, its creepy and weird honestly. I lock them in the front room when they wimper, because it is incessant for like 6 hours and I can't handle it. They may look cute, but they are little demons.

Torie



Torie



Phelps



Dog Sitting

My brother Joe and I dogsit for our neighbors dog Terri. Everybody hates Terri except for me. Terri is a whippet, and a sweet loving dog, so I don't know why everyone else hates him so much. Apparently, he is destructive and does things to anger my neighbor on purpose which I think is funny because if you have a dog plotting against you, you must not be very nice to it eiither. Terri is a sweet boy, and whenever I go over to check on him, he greets me with licks. I can always tell when my brother checked on him before me, because Terri is even more excited to see me, probably because Joe isn't very nice to him, and becaue Terri really likes me. Terri and I snuggled on the couch this afternoon, and then he gave me a bath with his tounge which was kind of gross, and then when I had to leave he got all sad, but I have to check on him again later, which means he will be a happy boy.

post #10

"To laugh often and much, to win the respect of intelligent people and the affection of children, to earn the appreciation of honest critics and endure the betrayal of false friends, to appreciate beauty, and to find the best in others, to leave the world a bit better, whether by a healthy child, a garden patch... to know even one life has breathed easier because you have lived. This is to have succeeded"  - Emerson

We all look for success so often in our daily lives, trying to be the best at something, coming out on top, that we are truly beginning to lose sight of what this really means. Success isn't always about coming out on top, it doesn't mean that its wrong to achieve your dreams, and get as far as you possibly can, but simply because you aren't the CEO of a company, or the president, doesn't mean that you cant be successful. To laugh often and much simply means that you must enjoy life, you can't get anywhere or have a successful career if you don't enjoy what you do. We need to work to be people that we are proud of and this doesn't mean changing who we are, but presenting ourselves in a way that people can respect and love. Life will have ups and downs in it, friends may turn out not to be real, criticims may seem harsh, but we need to be able to accept those things and move on from them only allowing them to make us stronger people. We need to be able to see the beauty in everything, even in people who seem to only have hate in their hearts, if we look for the best in everything, then we can easily pick ourselves back up after we have fallen. If we are able to look forward in life, and try to make an impact on just one persons life, we have already made a lasting impression forever, and that is the true definition of success.

post #9

"Have you ever experienced a moment of epihany, as if your eyes were opened to something you were previously blind to? Describe this moment and your percepts about it."

I think the better question is honestly, what haven't we had to look back on and realize things about it. I mean every thing in life we can look back on and see how it could have been handled differently. I always get in bed at night and lay there for a good few hours trying to figure out what things I did wrong, and how if I had simply studied more, or been a little more patient than things could have ended up a little differently. The biggest thing I have ever had a so-called "epihany" about was Enloe High School. When I attended it, I never saw any of the things that I was doing as wrong. Now that I look back, that was not completely accurate. I didn't go to class very often, because honestly, I had awful teachers and felt like it was a better use of my time not to go to classes.. Now that I look back, that would probably explain why my GPA is so bad, because if you don't go to class, and you don't learn, then you can't take tests or do homework very well, and so then you fail. I had bad friends who did bad things, looking back on that, the friends who got expelled for drinking on wake county public schools property, probably not the best ones. Although not everything about my Enloe experience was that dramatic or horrible, the chance to come to NRCA has allowed my eyes to be opened to the way that my life could have ended up had I stayed at Enloe.

post #8

True Friends. What does that even mean? I told a friend of mine the other night that I was running out of ideas for things to blog about, and she told me to blog about friendship. We're in high school, friendships can change in a moment, so how do you ever really figure out who your true friends are? I mean, you can be close to a lot of people, have fun when you hang out with them, but true friends, those are the ones who no matter what happens will stand by your side, even if you've done something wrong, they will back you up as they sit there and tell you to make it right, they will visit you when you're sick, or text you just to make sure that you're having a good day. True friends don't have to have a reason for what they do, and they don't expect anything back. They are the friends that you can tell anything to and know that you'll get an honest answer, regardless of what YOU want to hear. They make things about you, put you first, and you do the same, because what would you do without them. They will always be there for you. So friendships are great, they are there for fun, laughs, crazy pictures, but if they fade away, they can simply be replaced by another friendship without really looking back. True friends, can never be replaced, and never will need to be.

broken

The floor was littered in candy wrappers and liquor bottles. Those lindt chocolates had tasted so good the night before, but now they sat in her stomach, weighing her down. Chips and cookies were scattered across the table, crushed soda bottles lining its edges. She was sure she had to have gained at least twenty pounds last night. And the freezer door, still wide open, with empty cartons of ice cream everywhere, it seemed like she had one bite for every tear she cried. What did she do wrong, was she not good enough for him? She had given her heart and soul for that relationship, was his ending it the way to tell her that she wasn't enough and would never be enough? She stumbled up off the couch, headed for the bathroom. A liquor bottle laughed at her, she picked it up and downed it, drinking away her pain, then threw the mocking bottle as hard as she could. Its shattered pieces went in all directions, the glitter caught her eye in the corner. What was that? She walked over slowly, holding on to things to keep her up right. She picked it up, a dusty journal from when the relationship began. As she sat back to read it, the alcohol put her into a deep sleep. When she awoke, her mind was once again clear, she sat up to go and clean up her post breakup mess, yet as she reached down to push herself up, her hand caught the edge of the journal. She began to flip through it, laughing at her childish rants about how cute he was, and their first kiss, and every moment. Then she reached the bad ones, where things got rocky, and she began to read the things she tried to forget about, and ignore when she was with him. The day he first hit her, the things he said to her, how she starved herself to be what he wanted, yet that was never enough. She got to the end, realizing she had stopped journaling, because she herself had become blind to the truth. She held her head up strong, she was going to become a new women, no longer subjecting herself to that violence, she would not turn back. She was better off without him.

post #6

"For everyone of us living in this world means waiting for our end" -- Beowulf

If there is any one thing that I absolutely cannot stand about school, it would be the pointless reading that is done in English classes, you know the "classics". I cannot ever figure out for the life of me, what purpose they have. But every once in a while, they catch you off guard; the little gifts God gives us amongst the boring routine of daily life. As I began reading page 89 through 131 of tonights reading, a quote caught me off guard. When I picked up my book again later to continue, it got me AGAIN. And as I reread it, trying to process this, it hit me yet again. "For everyone of us living in this world means waiting for our end". That is morbid. I like to think of my life as having a little more significance than simply a beginning and an end. I mean this quote is true, we start our lives, and then the whole middle, the actual course of our lives, is simply the waiting. Often times we forget that there comes an end to every beginning. Life needs to be lived with purpose, every second being spent wisely, because it can never be gained back. So as right as this is in that we are living simply waiting for the end, it does not mean that we have to sit back, and waste our lives away because all that is going to come is the end. We have the ability to make all we want of our lives. Beowulf uses his God given talents to keep people safe in battles, and I'm not trying to say that we're all supposed to be Beowulf, and fight monsters under water. But we are supposed to use what God gives us, the little presents that we receive from him daily. We need to take these gifts and make something from them. It may be an extra hour with a special someone, a chance to makeup with a friend after a huge mistake, or a chance to change the direction of your life, whatever it may be - take it, use it. While we are waiting for an end, living in this world, we need to really truly live.

what to say

my problem with blogging, honestly, is that i don't know what to say. its not like im stupid, or i have nothing to say ever, because im constantly thinking about talking, but i never know how to write it. the saying "easier said than done" defines me. if i could write something, or say it, i would be better off saying it because chances are, that would get me closer to what i really mean. sometimes i wonder if maybe its the thoughts im having that are the reason i can't write anything, i should be thinking in bigger words, so that when i speak or talk i'll sound smarter, or maybe  i need to be thinking deeper, so that i sound like an intellectual thinker when i speak and write. but thats just not how i am, i have my random thoughts, yet they never flow and so i have nothing to write. i guess im creative, but who knows, eventually, hopefully, i'll find something to blog about.

post #4

"Have you ever fallen in love from the first sight? Tell about the first time you've met this person. What did you feel at that moment?"

What is love anyway? I mean sure this seems like a great question to answer, honestly I just took it off the "good essay topics" sheet we got in class, but I guess its legitimate. To start off, I think that to love someone, has a completely different meaning that to be IN love with someone. But if we're being techincal here, merriam-webster defines love as strong affection for another arising out of kinship or personal ties, and the always wonderful urban dictionary states it as "the most spectacular,indescribable, deep euphoric feeling for someone" - this definition goes on and on, but the first sentence seems to caputure the meaning just fine. To love someone then, means that you have a strong affection for them, a deep euphoric feeling. But to be in love, that to me is the indescribable, deepest possible, most spectacular feeling one can possibly have towards someone. So is it possible to fall in love at first sight? I don't believe so- you may be attracted to them, but to be IN love with them, cannot possibly happen at first sight.

So, now on to me. I don't believe that you can fall in love at first sight. I think that you can see someone, and have this overwhelming attraction and maybe think "I could love them" or something cheesy along those lines - that doesn't count as love at first sight. The closest I've come is Andrew. I mean I saw him with Zach Diamond the first day of school, and after school I said to my mom "that school has the finest boys I have EVER seen" -best part is I was talking about zach. Then I came to know who Andrew was, and believe me I thought he was fine too. But he had dated a friend of mine somewhat over the summer, and even though it was never real or legitimate, girl code forbids that right? So of course, andrew and I end up dating. We've been dating for 9 months now, we broke up for 2, otherwise we'd be in the double digits at 11 months. They haven't been easy, but we've worked our way to love through that. Before our breakup we said we loved each other, and yeah we meant it, but since we've gotten back together, I have that "in love" feeling. So after 11 LONG months I realize I've fallen in love. It took me eleven months to get to that point, that is a long time, a long journey, with many MANY ups and downs. So love at first sight, I don't buy it. The first time I spent time with Andrew, and techinically one of the first times I really saw him, I felt an attraction- yeah, but love- no. But now, I have that overwhelming, undeniable, awestruck feeling when I see him. its overwhelming, and hits me square in the chest, giving me butterflies every time. But I can't deny that I have fallen in love, it just wasnt at first sight.

j'aime...

i love rain on the windshield of a motioness car
i love sleeping in on saturdays
i love chicken alfredo from macaroni grill
i love sleeping in the sun on a warm spring day
i love movie nights with friends
i love bonjangles late at night
i love laughing till it hurts
i love goldfish
i love ramen noodles
i love breakfast for dinner
i love summer
i love boys who wear aprons
i love two stupid dogs
i love laying under the stars
i love living in poverty in belarus
i love coffee in the morning
i love chickfila
i love the unknown
i love ANDREW JORDAN KIRK :)

post #2

He rolls over, restless. It seems like the dark is closing in on him, he can't breath. Regret? Maybe remorse? He knew it was wrong, knew he should have been more careful, knew he should have stayed away from that girl. The tempress that ruined everything. A million "if onlys.." clouded his thoughts. Why didn't he stay by her side, she was sick and told him to go and have fun, but he knew she really wanted him with her. But he left, listened to her, he had fun. But looking back it wasn't fun, he couldn't take the feelings. He hadn't meant to hurt her, a few too many drinks had impared his thinking, led him to do the worst thing possible. He rolled over a few more times, couldn't stop replaying the night. Finally, he broke down, sobbing. He called her, praying she would pick up. A groggy "hello", all he could say was "im sorry, i love you, please forgive me", but before he could even finish, she said " its okay. i forgive you, i love you and i know you didn't mean it", and he laughed, tears of joy rolling down his cheeks. They talked till dawn, and he finally rolled over, his life once again whole.

number one.

i'm not sure how you live your life. i have the "up" moments, and the "down" moments, but most of the time i get through it alright. i don't live every minute thinking that it is simply one less that i have in my life, but i am forced to look forward to the next waste of time packed into my busy day, that keeps me from doing other things. homework when my shows are on, physical therapy when i want nothing more than to sleep by the pool, school when i want to be out having fun. but what kind of way is that to live life? should we not look forward to each moment, and embrace it. time is something that can never be replaced, we'll never get more of it. i don't think we should live mourning the loss of time, but simply live it to the fullest so that we never look back and regret. this week a friend of mine lost his father. it was a freak accident, he slipped while hiking in the mountains, fell off of the cliff, and did not make it. a father, husband, mentor, friend, one day grandfather, was gone in an instant. there was no time to say goodbye, not any time to make amends. so instead of holding grudges, or spending the present looking into the future, we need to forgive and forget, move on and love, treasure each moment we spend with someone, knowing that the future will always come, so we don't need to sit around waiting for it. i want a life filled with love, and joy, and passion. i want my friendships to last a lifetime, my relationships to be something i can look back and be thankful for, my family to be my rock, and every memory to be one i treasure. im tired of wasting life, because in an instant, it could all be gone.