Pray for America

My heart is still aching for the victims and the tragedy that struck Colorado. I feel like so often tragedy strikes and for a day or so, Americans have care and concern. Tweets and Facebook statuses are changed and things such as "pray for Colorado" are thrown out. And then the days ends, and so do thoughts about the horrific incident that occurred. As if one Facebook status paid your dues and you no longer have to think or care. Innocent lives were taken, yet a tweet was meaningful enough to respect their lives. Y'all clearly something is wrong here. Something is wrong with America, its people, its government, every aspect of America has become corrupt. There have been countless tragedies in America: 9/11, Columbine, Virginia Tech, countless others, and now this. One could say that this man is mentally disturbed. I believe that is the case. Maybe I like to give the benefit of the doubt and assume that man is good, therefore no person in their right mind could possibly do something this horrific and smile while doing it. Could I be wrong? Of course. But everyone is entitled to their opinions. If you have been keeping up with the news and reading the countless articles, as I have been [but also taking into account that the media is biased and you have to read everything with a grain of salt], you may notice a likeness between this man and the Joker. He dyed his hair, he rigged other things to blow, he even told the police that he was the Joker. Does no one else see an issue with this? Don't get me wrong, I saw the newest Batman. I am a sucker for mass media as well. But clearly there is an issue with what is being shown. We live in a violent world. And movies, music, etc., are all doing nothing to stop it, but seemingly encouraging it. It is so easy to sit back and point fingers; his parents did not raise him right, they let him watch too many violent shows as a child, there should be more laws against firearms, if there were more firearms then he could have been stopped, there needs to be higher security. Why can't we just stop pointing fingers. It doesn't matter the opinions of society now, it doesn't matter what YOU believe would have kept this from happening, because the fact of the matter is: IT HAPPENED. The issue now, is where do we go from here? What if we lived in a world of no jealousy, no greed, no violence, no threats. Where you could leave your front door unlocked and have nothing to worry about. Instead of worrying so much about pointing fingers, why can't we worry about changing our own lives in a way that will honor the lives of the thousands of people who have been killed throughout American history in tragedy. So that the next generation can come into a safer world. A world that does not rely so heavily on technology, and social media, and where children learn how to talk face to face instead of just behind a screen, where we socialize and go outdoors, where we do not need protection because we share our wealth with those who need help, and those people in need continue to look for ways to help themselves instead of cheating the system.

Keep this tragedy in your mind, don't toss it away. Stop being so eager to point fingers and cast judgments and take a good look at your own life. Try to change and better the world for those around you, for generations to come. Because without that, the world will end. It will collapse because there will no longer be stability, love, compassion. We are a part of a world that is being consumed by selfish desires, and no one can survive in a world like that.

feelings

feelings may happen to be one of the best and worst things that a person can have. there is no such thing as a win win with feelings. i mean seriously, why can't we just have the good ones? why do there have to be bad ones? i hate having those off days, you know the ones where you aren't yourself. you're in a weird mood and so then you feel like you're sitting there watching the world go by without actually being a part of it. as if you're in your own little bubble. or worse -- like you are an animal in a zoo where everyone sees you but noone really acknowledges you. and those are the moments where you start to think about things. start to ponder on life and try and figure out what is going on and where in the world did things get the way they are. the worst ones for me are when i start feeling old and useless. since when am i 18?! im in college moving towards being on my own. theres only so much longer and then i can't run back to my mom and hope that she makes everything right. im going to have to be a grownup and figure things out on my own. and then the worse of the two is feeling useless. when i have days like this where i sit and reflect on life, i always reach a point where i can't seem to figure out what it is that i've done with my life. i feel like each and every day needs to count. like i need to have something to show for each day and i guess in some ways i do -- be it a conversation that i've had with someone or maybe the impact a smile or saying good morning can have on someone elses life. a lot of times we miss the impact that we have on others or it is something that is pretty hard to realize so we can go on feeling useless. regardless of the fact that i know i'm not wasting my life each day, knowing it still doesn't make me feel less guilty or less useless. i want to have a profound impact. i want to change things. i want places to be better, people to be better, really everything to just change for the better. and because i can't make that impact each day i feel like i am being useless or wasting some ability. i guess in all honesty these days that i reflect on life are some pretty important days. these are the types of days that i make decisions, that i scheme and plot out the rest of my life. so i guess that feelings, even these bad ones, are profound. the separation i may feel from the world may simply be because i have separated myself, i have drawn myself away to have a day full of thought, one where i can figure out exactly who i am, what i think and believe, my hopes and wishes, just trying to make sense of this mess we call life.