Belarussian Men

Tonight, we went to dinner at a restuarant in downtown Mogilev whose name translates to "restuarant" in English. We were sitting there enjoying our time with Olya, our host, Katyas friend, when the waitress walks up with ice cream for us. Two men, a table over, had sent them for us as a gift, because they liked the way I smiled. They proceeded to ask us to go to a movie with them, telling us that we have to because they already bought the tickets. We politely declined, yet they persisted. As if this would win us over, they bought wine for us all. It was a Maldovian wine, and it actually wasn't terrible, but we still did not wish to go to the movies with them. They kept saying "what is your name, my darling".. buddy, I am NOT your darling. They said that they wished only to go to the movies as friends, and nothing more. I don't think I'm buying that one. One of the men came over to our table, and asked us to go to the bana with him. The bana is a sauna of sorts in which you bathe and can be whipped with leaves to beat something out of you, but I can't quite remember what. The man told me that he would beat me with the leaves, if I would beat him. Then he spanked himself a few times, and told us sorry. The only blessing is the two men had just finished off a bottle of vodka, or I would have been concerned for his sanity. He gave us all high fives, winked a few times, and eventually the men left after giving us warm goodbyes. I've got to say, I'm okay with sticking to American men.

Austin, Texas HATES George Bush

I am sitting on a plane to Warsaw, Poland right now and the woman behind me is a freak. May I start by saying that my mom and I are on the right side, squashed in the little two seater, in row thirty-six (aka the seat from hell, second to last row), with two little polish girls in front of us – who lean their seats back entirely too far so I can’t breath, and throw their trash around- behind me is an American woman, aka the freak, and a Russian man (who she just met), next to us is a three seater row with army guys, behind them is a screaming baby, and in front of them is an Orthodox Jew with the long beard and twirled side burns… COOL. All was good and well, we walked around New York city during our seven hour layover and got to enjoy the Israel Festival and Parade on Fifth Avenue (pictures to follow), had some amazing pizza from a cute little place on 6^th avenue and 57^th street, and hung out in the airport for a good long time. We finally decided to board the plane seeing as we were pretty much the only people left in the entire apart after all of Poland boarded our plane, and then we proceeded to sit on the plane for an hour, leaving FOURTY-FIVE minutes late. Polish airlines, you suck. We walk a mile alllll the way back to row thirty six and the little polish girl in front of me has her seat laying in mine. Sweet, right? The flight attendant comes by and makes her sit up till we take off, so all seems to be good and well. And then, the baby one row back to our left begins to cry. Kill me now. We haven’t even taken off yet and the baby is crying. Get me off the plane. So the woman behind me puts in her two sense on how the babies mother can keep her quiet and occupied, and she said probably one hundred times that no one cares if the baby is crying, its okay. No woman, actually its not okay. Yes I realize that its not the mothers fault her child is crying, but maybe don’t travel with a baby, ever thought of that one? Whatever, I can deal with the crying baby though. So it finally quiets down, and then begins  the never ending commentary of the woman behind me. She begins talking to her Russian friend – don’t forget she just met him on this flight- and begins asking him about his life story. She tells him how her dad and new step mom adopted a child from Siberia, and had to live there for four months, and how it was just terrible. She tells him about how America sucks too, she can understand if he thinks Russia sucks, because apparently he is trying to move. Then she goes on to ask him about his opinion on Obama and Bush. She lives in Austin, Texas but she lived in New York for six years. Apparently, Austin is its own little part, the only place in Texas that stands out. And most importantly, Austin HATES Bush. All of Austin hates Bush. Austin is a democractic little pocket, the only part in Texas and that is what makes it stand out, but that doesn’t change the fact that there have been many attempts to assassinate Bush. In all honesty, I don’t care. This woman is being a terrible American citizen if I may say so myself. You aren’t supposed to talk junk about your country even if it is terrible. Then she proceeds to ask the Russian man if he is single and if he is looking for girls. We haven’t even taken off yet – nine hours of this and I may strangle someone. This would NOT be the place to hit on someone. They proceed to go on about what is good in bed, and she tells him its okay for him to see three girls, and they talk about how you should only sleep with people who are not virgins because then they are guaranteed to be good in bed. Kids, this is an example of what NOT to do. She tells him she is agnostic, and sweetie we ALL know that already. The final straw would be when they begin talking about drinking; she doesn’t drink very much because she doesn’t like the taste, maybe three drinks at a time – then right after this, she says “I never drink”. What is this world coming to. Needless to say, we have nine hours and twenty two minutes left at this point. It is going to be a very long nine hours. Wish me luck.